tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post983120761537371664..comments2023-10-15T07:52:37.825-07:00Comments on A Baby? Maybe. . .: Sigh...Beverleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16473592184023240522noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-17417861639304806362009-11-27T06:57:39.848-08:002009-11-27T06:57:39.848-08:00I didn't read your initial entry, but everyone...I didn't read your initial entry, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I'm very pro-Ferber when it's appropriate. We did it with my son when he was 8 months old and I still say it was the best thing we have done so far. Our miserable, sleep-deprived baby turned into a pleasent, well-rested little guy who STTN and took two naps a day. But, it doesn't work for every family or every baby. <br /><br />Everyone needs to figure out what works for them, and that involves some trial and error. We're all just trying to do what's best for our kids, and that varies wildly - that's why blanket statements regarding any parenting decision suck.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14309671199836297286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-77400610920651699512009-11-25T18:01:36.057-08:002009-11-25T18:01:36.057-08:00Ladies, Ladies... let's keep it nice! It's...Ladies, Ladies... let's keep it nice! It's almost Thanksgiving for goodness sake.<br /><br />Go eat ( A LOT ) of turkey!!! :)Beverleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16473592184023240522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-13866997218636853232009-11-25T17:57:49.859-08:002009-11-25T17:57:49.859-08:00To Ruth- Huge round of applause and a standing ova...To Ruth- Huge round of applause and a standing ovation for exclusively BF triplets!!Reneenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-40484606871218493882009-11-25T17:55:16.952-08:002009-11-25T17:55:16.952-08:00I agree, you aren't abandoning" them, you...I agree, you aren't abandoning" them, you're training them how to fall asleep without you next to them. Kate-how dare you say those with more children should have fewer children? As a Mom to 4 I do have more experience than someone with one child under one years old. So yes, I do know more and have been through this 4 times already. Is my way the only way, of course not! Do I think it's easier to train a baby to sleep rather than waiting till they're a toddler, yes! Maybe you don't have a larger family like I do because you couldn't handle it! And being "firm" doesn't mean your abandoning your children. It's called being a parent - try it sometime.<br />Beverly-I am not trying to pass judgement on your mothering. Just giving my advice from experience as a Mom of 4. <br />Mom to 4 in CA.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-64151791274746716122009-11-25T05:44:22.707-08:002009-11-25T05:44:22.707-08:00"abandoning them at night" seems a bit d..."abandoning them at night" seems a bit dramatic!Ashleynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-42113145630140047832009-11-23T14:49:25.190-08:002009-11-23T14:49:25.190-08:00Self soothe? I don't subscribe to that.
I ho...Self soothe? I don't subscribe to that. <br /><br />I hope you all won't be eating your words when the nurses at the nursing home leave you alone to cry yourself to sleep and "self soothe" in a dark room. No one should have to go through that. <br /><br />Do what's right for your family, Bev. Bravo. <br /><br />To those who say they have more than one child and have to be "firm" in order to get any sleep--maybe having fewer children so you can care for each one without abandoning them at night is a better idea.<br /><br />Just a thought.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08714799691330256596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-15499667887167747942009-11-21T18:41:02.983-08:002009-11-21T18:41:02.983-08:00Beverly,
Just ignore these idiot Anons. As you s...Beverly,<br /><br />Just ignore these idiot Anons. As you said...it's your blog, and most importantly your baby. You are (obviously) entitled to parent and blog exactly the way that works for you and I am appalled that anyone would think otherwise.<br /><br />Amandaamandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12361424987129690850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-1505095684482374422009-11-20T17:24:03.961-08:002009-11-20T17:24:03.961-08:00Anons,
I recognized that you have more experience...Anons,<br /><br />I recognized that you have more experience, however, I don't necessarily think that means you are right and I am wrong. There isn't a right way and a wrong way. There is your way where you do what you feel is right and my way which I feel is right. And that is that.<br /><br />I happen to not subscribe to your particular sleep training theories. Is there a possibility I may change my mind if she turns into some horrible sleeper? Maybe. But what we do now works for us. Until it doesn't I'm going to continue to do so. <br /><br />Thank you for your input!Beverleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16473592184023240522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-14819030604771321832009-11-20T16:57:22.951-08:002009-11-20T16:57:22.951-08:00You'll have your hands full if you aren't ...You'll have your hands full if you aren't being firm because "you feel it would be cruel." Lots of what we have to do as parents isn't fun or makes our kids happy. It's called being a Mom, not a friend. This seems to get blurred a lot these days.<br />I have more experience than you so take it to heart.<br />AnnaBeth in Los Angeles<br />Mom to 3 (7, 5 and 4 months)<br />By the way all of my kids slept through the night by 3 months old. There was no throwing up, hysterics etc...you train them how to put themselves down.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-78988247552886406802009-11-20T16:46:55.426-08:002009-11-20T16:46:55.426-08:00Well, we know who rules the roost in your house. Y...Well, we know who rules the roost in your house. Your 11 month old! Be a parent and teach her good sleeping habits now or you'll never get a goods night sleep nor will she. You can let her cry for a few minutes then go in pat her back and tell her it's alright then walk out. Do this over and over again and she'll get it. Kids have to learn to put themselves to sleep and bedtime is not negotiable. You won't have time to deal with sleep issues if you have more children.<br />Mom to 4 in CA.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-69123953535129746092009-11-20T08:40:39.374-08:002009-11-20T08:40:39.374-08:00I appreciate your comments, all of you.
However, ...I appreciate your comments, all of you.<br /><br />However, I do not see how my saying that I will not do something that I do not believe is right for US is judgmental. This blog is about my family so the statement is a fact, and nothing more. You go ahead and do what works for you. :)<br /><br />Sometimes I get a full nights sleep, sometimes I don't.It may take me a little longer to get onto a constant routine of a full nights sleep and I'm ok with that.Beverleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16473592184023240522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-18642731578564579362009-11-20T07:46:16.536-08:002009-11-20T07:46:16.536-08:00We did our own version of CIO...more like fuss it ...We did our own version of CIO...more like fuss it out as a pp mentioned.<br /><br />It's not so much about teaching your child that bedtime should be a cozy, loving experience....but it is teaching them how to self soothe. This is a valuable tool that spreads across a lot of aspects of life. It also about teaching them GOOD sleeping habits...that they have the power to put themselves back to sleep.<br /><br />I know a lot of parents have tried this after their child is waking as a toddler. So just keep an open mind.<br /><br />(not to be a jerk...but I also read sweatpeas blog and remember when she said she would get up with her baby until she goes to college...but then a month later was saying how she needed sleep so she was going to CIO after talking with the ped. This is so, so common and may be the cause of why people don't like the judgmental tone of "I could never do that to my baby...it is not right for our family"...because most of you will come over to the "dark side" at some point. The only difference is that we've been getting a full nights sleep for a lot longer.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-82191598898132982242009-11-19T10:35:03.955-08:002009-11-19T10:35:03.955-08:00Here's a secret...Children are individuals. (...Here's a secret...Children are individuals. (Shocker, I know)! Just like every parent has different needs and desires, so do their children. I could no more pretend to know what approach is best for my neighbor's child, as I could between babies in a set of multiples. Each individual child will respond differently to the techniques and style their parent chooses to apply to their development. ::Shock again:: <br /><br />I'm kinda sad that you deleted a post which clearly resonated with you originally, because you chose to post it. But that's a great thing about blogs, it's yours, and you can do with as you like! :)<br /><br />"Parenting. It's not one size fits all."<br /><br />-Suzanne (not yet a mom...)Suzanne Incognitohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18346658620724362304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-22805232161301115292009-11-19T07:07:28.249-08:002009-11-19T07:07:28.249-08:00You have to do what works for yourself and your fa...You have to do what works for yourself and your family. We don't CIO, instead when Em wakes up in the middle of the night we go in and snuggle her and let her know that we are there for her no matter what. Even if it's 2am and we all want to be sleeping. For us it works. <br /><br />Sure some people think I'm doing it wrong becuase she's 9 1/2 months old and still not STTN, but we feel comfortable with the decisions that we are making for our family and that's all that matters.SweetPeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00703001281140038116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-12822675376841999572009-11-19T05:30:16.507-08:002009-11-19T05:30:16.507-08:00I saw your original post, and immediately thought,...I saw your original post, and immediately thought, "duuuuude." People hate when you take a stance! For some reason, people love to send me hatemail and hate comments (ANON, natch) if I disagree with something they believe.<br /><br />I was going to comment and ask how you handled sleep! You should write about it - I'm interested! <br /><br />We don't CIO. We do the whole Baby Whisperer thing. When we know she is tired, we do her routine. If she cries, we pick her up until she stops and then immediately put her down. <br /><br />I don't care if people CIO, though. I just feel mean doing it. :)Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03844806977351587056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-50205053504948498882009-11-18T12:15:54.474-08:002009-11-18T12:15:54.474-08:00I think the reason people get all 'up in arms&...I think the reason people get all 'up in arms' about stuff like this is I guess that we all realize this is the biggest job ever, and we want to do it well. People get passionate about parenting, as they should. It's just in normal society we don't express those feelings (well, at least most of us don't), and online you are easily able to hide behind the veil of an avator or pseudynom, or at least some degree of anonymity. <br /><br />This is part of why since moving to Portland I haven't joined any type of moms group. Perhaps I am a coward, but I am afraid to put out there something, like you did Bev, and feel trampled for it - only in person. I hate confrontation. <br /><br />I don't CIO, but I also had a great sleeper so I guess my opinion is a bit biased.Katherinehttp://internetfruit.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-81129129771981884152009-11-18T11:38:15.985-08:002009-11-18T11:38:15.985-08:00Bev, you rock girl! This is YOUR baby and WHAT YOU...Bev, you rock girl! This is YOUR baby and WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO DO, is just that, you choice. Don't listen to people who just want to be a sore thumb. <br /><br />Keep doing what you do!Shawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12872724427259600090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-85370960160698135622009-11-18T11:06:58.170-08:002009-11-18T11:06:58.170-08:00It's all about your circumstances. With my fi...It's all about your circumstances. With my first son, I felt the same way as you - why would I let my baby cry when there's no need, and I can stop it? Fast forward 3.5 years, now I have infant triplets and things are very different. I don't have all the time in the world to devote to one baby and their comfort at any given moment. I have a demanding preschooler (is there any other kind?) and three little ones who need the security of a more structured routine. Since I don't have 6 arms, they need to be able to go to sleep, and put themselves back to sleep, without as much intervention as my first son (who, btw, did not sleep through the night until he was 21 months old!). <br /><br />I chose to use the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child program, and although there was a small amount of crying in the beginning (10 minutes max), it has been phenomenal in terms of allowing them to get good naps and be well rested. I am exclusively breastfeeding them, so I still get up at night if one of them needs me, but right now that is only one of the three. Babies need to sleep, and whether they learn how to do it themselves or are always eased into it by a parent's intervention, is no reflection on the parenting quality.<br /><br />I didn't read the comments from your previous post, but I'm sorry some people chose to resort to name-calling. However, that article you linked did make me feel guilty and sad about the fact that my circumstances require a bit of CIO on occasion. We are all just doing our best, you know.Ruthnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-89906972286872869432009-11-18T08:26:45.409-08:002009-11-18T08:26:45.409-08:00See this is the thing, I actually had several peop...See this is the thing, I actually had several people who had suggested, when Lucy has having trouble sleeping in her crib, just to let her cry. In one person's words "eventually she'll just cry herself to sleep and then she'll realize that she isn't going to get what she wants." I don't want that kind of resignation in my child. So the fact that this was suggested to me by multiple people made my think that it wasn't an invention. Although I wish it was...Beverleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16473592184023240522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-34809189968441161712009-11-18T07:07:06.155-08:002009-11-18T07:07:06.155-08:00I agree completely with lanie above. When you'...I agree completely with lanie above. When you're saying CIO and meaning letting the child cry endlessly into exhaustion? That, to me, is just a caricature. It's an invention. Just like people invent ugly fictions about attachment parenting.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-81438530183140491502009-11-18T04:55:10.809-08:002009-11-18T04:55:10.809-08:00I totally feel where you're coming from about ...I totally feel where you're coming from about CIO. I prefer the FIO approach... I made it up. Fussing It Out is totally something that works for me but when my son went into all-out gutteral screaming, it usually ended in throwing up on himself, which was more work for me than going back in a time or two.<br /><br />You go right on ahead and DD all you want, it's your blog!Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11475034623757454519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-59482093576276676172009-11-17T22:02:01.374-08:002009-11-17T22:02:01.374-08:00Trust me when I say I know what it feels like to p...Trust me when I say I know what it feels like to put something in writing and then not get the type of response I was hoping for or get people irritated with me. Not fun, especially since I h.a.t.e confrontation! While I may not agree with what you write, you should be able to write what you want and hopefully have people respond maturely. I hope my response was kind...I was trying to be! I've known you for a long time - hopefully you could get my drift in what I wrote! I love ya! :)Jamie @ Bungalow Beehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14783691408054195844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-87048150868498208472009-11-17T20:18:05.221-08:002009-11-17T20:18:05.221-08:00Perfectly put. :)Perfectly put. :)stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03531233021971613185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2570553510339407807.post-41279008660752185692009-11-17T20:16:24.658-08:002009-11-17T20:16:24.658-08:00You're so sweet. Too funny. We'd have much...You're so sweet. Too funny. We'd have much in common if we ever met. <br /><br />No worries. You just need to know that sometimes CIO and AP and all the other labels are just that. Just labels. And they aren't healthy when used as soapboxes, even if its not our intention. <br /><br />Overall, we're all a bunch of exhausted well-intentioned parents just trying to get by without raising a criminal or an emo cutter kid. Loving them to pieces is the easy part, everything else? Not so much. <br /><br />;)laniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17114793890625870404noreply@blogger.com