Posts
1. Exceptional Peeing in a Cup Skills
So as every doctors appointment requires me to pee in a cup, I have since because extremely skilled in the art of cup peeing. In the beginning, by the time I got to the doctor's office I would have to pee so badly that I would run into the bathroom, do a dance while writing my name on the label, slap it on and grab the cup and pee. This seems simple enough except for the fact that I don't think I've every quite pinpointed the exact location of my urethra. Gros overshare, maybe, but true...yes! Half the time I would end up peeing all over my hand or all over the cup, which I would have already put the label on and now said label is all wet with pee. Or I would completely miss the cup completely and end up forcing myself to produce the most pathetic pee sample ever. I would always feel so bad for the nurse who had to pick it up after I was done with it. Now I am awesome. I know now to write the label AFTER I've peed in the cup which = no pee-stained label and I've pretty much pinpointed the appropriate location, which means I can now bulls-eye into my target like you wouldn't believe. No need for wiping the cup or re-writing the label afterwards. I have become a CHAMP at peeing in a cup. Thank you pregnancy!
2. Have Come to Accept that I am Either a Freak of Nature or a Show and Tell Project
Another thing I've learned is that pregnant people are completely amazing in the eyes of others, either in the "Oh my lord I didn't know people could get that big you freak of nature" kind of amazing or the "Oh look at this fabulous specimen of a glowing child bearing vessel of loveliness" amazing. Complete strangers approach me on the street commenting about my belly, whether it is pointing out how large I am or pointing out how incredible I am. My own mother uses me as her own personal show and tell project, as in whenever we see someone we might vaguely know or recognize it is immediately "Hi, So-And-So... look, here is my daughter she is PREGNANT! Can you believe it?" (as if they couldn't already tell by the massive protrusion coming from my middle). The other day a woman stopped me and and said "I just love your belly", like it was a super cute pair of designer jeans I was sporting, I wanted to say "Thank you! I picked it up at this super cute boutique (called Oregon Reproductive Medicine) down on 23rd Ave." Fabulous!
To be continued...
Had my maternity photo session today and had SO much fun! I can't wait to see how they turned out. Thank you Jen!!
We're coming along quite swimmingly on Lucy's nursery. I'll take some pictures tomorrow to show the progress we have made...and of her jam packed closet, she is going to be one fashionable gal!
AND ps. It's my 28th Birthday tomorrow!!
"Pregnant women... They had that weird frisson, an aura of magic that combined awkwardly with an earthy sense of duty. Mundane, because they were nothing unique on the suburban streets; ethereal because their attention was ever somewhere else. Whatever you said was trivial. And they had that preciousness which they imposed wherever they went, compelling attention, constantly reminding you that they carried the future inside, its contours already drawn, but veiled, private, an inner secret."
-Ruth Morgan
