An Impossible Task...

Is there anything more impossible that cutting a 11 month old baby's toenails? My very active little lady just cannot sit still for more than a moment and is obviously practicing for her debut as a tap dancer as I attempt, in vain, to cut those tiny, jagged toenails...maybe this means she'll be on So You Think You Can Dance one day, how exciting would that be?! I digress.

Once they started getting long and I realized it would be more appropriate to call them talons I knew I couldn't put it off any longer -- that and I was definitely done with getting scratched by said talons in the mornings while she is raking those sharp baby toenails into my stomach. It used to be so easy when she was smaller, and less..er...bouncy? All we had to do was secretly clip them in her sleep. Now she grabs, bounces and giggles if I even approach her feet with the clippers. Then once I get hold of those chubby, little feet its all over, she's kicking and laughing all over the place. I don't blame the girl, I've got terrible ticklish feet too, but, darling girl, the long toenail look doesn't work for anyone.

Is there some sort of trick to cutting a baby's toenails? We have the "special" baby clippers and I usually give her some sort of toy to distract her while I'm doing it, but obviously the toy is a lot less exciting than those shiny white and orange clippers. Any suggestions aside for going for The Guinness Book of World Records for toenail length? I tried to find a picture of whatever nutty person holds this record but strangely enough I was unsuccessful, count yourself lucky this time! Yuck!

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
-Milton Berle

Happy Halloween...

Happy Halloween! For your viewing pleasure...my Halloween costume from work yesterday:


There are four girls in my office at work and each of us was a "Golden Girl" for Halloween. I was "Ma" aka "Sophia". Don't be jealous, I know I look AMAZING. We handed out candy and generally made complete fools of ourselves, and I think the employees loved it. So it was a pretty successful day I'd say!

I love everything about Halloween so today we are going to the final Farmer's Market of the season, going to hang out a bit at home, hand out candy and then go to a Harvest Celebration where Lucy will be sporting her adorable "Carrot" costume and I will be wearing bunny ears...get it, I'm a bunny and she's my carrot? I just want to eat her up!

"Thank you for being a friend."
-Theme Song from "The Golden Girls"

In the Doghouse...

"Bev!! Come quick. QUICK" Says my husband the other night, while pointing underneath our dining room table. And what do I see?


It really doesn't get any funnier than a dog that is seriously sucking on a pacifier (and yes, we threw away the offending pacifier)!

Happy Friday and remember the Snap-Ez Giveaway ends Sunday at 12:00 pm (PST).

"My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am."
-Author Unknown

Speaking of Breastfeeding...

Funny story time.

So I pump at work. Pumping isn't the most fun time of my day as it makes me feel like a commercial milk cow attached to a machine but luckily for me my company did set up "New Mom's Rooms" in each of our locations, so I feel like this is more courtesy than most new mom's get at their companies. I've heard horror stories of women pumping in their cars or in bathroom stalls, ew! So I do feel lucky!

That being said I work at a company that is mostly male, especially in the building that I work in. It just so happens that the location of the "New Mom's Room" is right bang slap in the middle of the building's Facilities Department, which houses basically a bunch of engineers who work on all of the tools and on the building in general. So it is all men. Men who were super uncomfortable when we put in the New Mom's Room last year... For example, here's a snippet of a conversation I had last year when setting up the room (before I was even pregnant I got the job of setting it up):

Me: "It's a room for new mothers"

Facilities Man: "For new mothers? For new mothers to do what?"

Me: "Er...pump."

FM: "Pump? I don't get it..."

Me: "Pump. Milk. For Babies."

FM: Turning Bright Red. "Ohhhh... I have to go, er, get something from, er somewhere..."

So I walk through this room a couple times a day, most of the time I go through without interruption...until last week. One of the older men stops me to ask if my boss is in today. I, pump bag slung over my shoulder, People magazine in hand, reply no, but is there anything I can help him with? I should have just said "No" and went on my way, but I didn't. This is how the rest of own conversation went...

Man: "No, no..it's nothing urgent but hey, so...I have this friend..."
Me: "Ok.."
Man: "She's a Director of a Nonprofit."
Me: "Oh, er, that's very nice."
Man: "She used to be a Lactation Nurse. You know? For like 10 years."
Me: Totally confused as to how we got on this subject as we're now talking about lactation, "Oh! Really...that's er, very nice."
Man: "So she the Director of the Milk Bank here in Oregon." Looks at me expectantly...
Me: "Oh! Er, um...That's a very good thing. Very important stuff. Um...er..."
Man: "I just thought you should know."

And he walks off.

The most awkward conversation in my workplace to date. I'm not sure if he was suggesting that I donate... or if he thought I needed to get some additional milk. But this guy was the LAST person who I would have expected to talk to me about lactation. So awkward!

Oh man, too funny!

Note: I would love to donate to the bank but all my milk goes to the Goose!

“Women aren't embarrassed when they buy men's pajamas, but a man buying a nightgown acts as though he were dealing with a dope peddler”

-Jimmy Cannon

ps. The new website is coming soon...and by soon I mean 3-4 weeks. Patience is a virtue, right? Good things come to those who wait, no?

Funny Story...

I know, I know, I haven't been around lately. I did finish my Blogolympics, but it just fizzled out, I didn't, as my track coach used to yell at me, "finish strong". I'm so sorry, I just ran out of steam, which seems to be the story of my life lately. I'm just so darn exhausted these days. Between working and Lucy I have absolutely no spare time. I feel like the thing that always gets put aside is my blog, which is a bummer because I love blogging and I have all of these topics that I'm just dying to share, like how breastfeeding has gone for me and about how hard it was going back to work...

Today I will share just how tired and worn down I am with a story. Here's some background on the past couple of weeks, Lucy has been extra fussy during the day and waking up a lot at night. I think that she's teething, poor thing. So I haven't been getting a whole lot of sleep. Basically my weekday schedule goes as follows:

• Get up at 6 (earlier if Lucy is hungry earlier), feed Lucy.
• 6:30 Jump in shower and attempt to look halfway presentable. By presentable I mean hoping there is little to no spit-up on my work clothes...or worse, poop (it has happened folks, truly). On a good day my hair is soaking wet but at least has gel in it, I have a bit of makeup on that I may or may not have had to apply with Lucy on my lap to prevent a screaming fit and possibly my armpits shaved (my legs...not so much).
• Get Lucy ready and leave by 7:15.
• 7:30 Drop Lucy off at my Mom's house and feed her again depending on whether she ate early or not, hoping breastmilk doesn't drip down my shirt...if it did then drive to work with the heat on full blast to dry it. Thank God for extra strength deodorant.
• Fight traffic (past the Nike World Campus which happens to only be ONE LANE, WTF?)and be at work by 8:00 and work until 5:00.
• Drive through hellish 5:00 traffic to my Mom's to pick up Lucy.
• Feed her at my Mom's house and attempt to get out in a timely manner, my Mom always wants to chat and I want to go home!
• Get home at 6:30-7:00ish.
• Rob makes dinner, lately I've been in charge of soothing fussy Lucy who cannot STAND anyone else to hold her at night.
• We go upstairs at 8:00 pm, yes, when it is still light out for goodness sake. Lucy goes to bed and Rob and I watch TV (aka turn on the TV and pass out until one of us rouses the other to get ready for bed...or, we wake up in our clothes from the night before, this doesn't happen often but I am ashamed to say it HAS happened once or twice, yuck!).

Sounds awesome right? Well this schedule has been wearing me out for the past couple weeks and over the last couple days I've been feeling like I'm starting to get sick. On Thursday I had a super sore throat, headache and a fever (swine flu?) and Lucy picked that night to wake up EVERY.SINGLE.HALF.AN.HOUR.ALL.NIGHT.LONG. I'm not kidding. Friday morning I felt so sick that I thought I might pass out in the shower but had to go to work because there was a important project that I needed to finish first thing in the morning. I'm terrible about calling in sick too, I just never do it unless I'm on the verge of death (aka morning sickness + migraines last year when I was pregnant, and even then I only did it ONCE).

So Friday evening I'm feeling pretty horrible. We go to bed early and Lucy actually goes to sleep pretty easily, yay! Lucy must have woken up in the middle of the night because I vaguely remember holding her in bed and suddenly realizing I need to go to the bathroom. I whisper to Rob that he needs to take her to I can go. No response. I ask again...SNORE. I get out of bed and walk around to his side of the bed and HISS:

"ROB. Wake up and hold the baby dammit. I have to go to the bathroom."

Rob opens his eyes and looks at me like a crazy person and says.

"Babe, you don't have the baby."

Oh crap. I look down at my arms...yup, he's right, no baby. She's fast asleep in her room and has been all night long. I was either a.) hallucinating from being sick and lack of sleep b.) dreamt that I was holding her and was half asleep when I walked over to his side of the bed c.) am losing my damn mind.

Oh man. Being a working mom is TOUGH, and I only have one baby...how the heck do people keep this up? Any crazy stories from you dear readers? Can you top that?

“No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.”

-W.C. Fields

Dear Celebrity Mom...

W.T.H?




She is probably rocking my CRAZY girdle under that dress, at least I hope so!





Who has time to go clubbing TWO MONTHS after a baby? And would you look at that stomach? The belly button alone AMAZES me.





You bitch, put down those damn weights. Now you're just showing off.


Sincerely, Bev.

Yes, yes, I know. They are celebrities. They get paid a enormous amount of money to just look like this (and act in movies/tv shows/whatever they still get paid to look good in my mind). Yes, they have trainers 24 hours a day, nannies to watch their baby while they work out and plastic surgeons that will never leak their tummy-tuck/breast lift/thigh lipo secrets due to doctor-patient confidentiality laws, but damn it ladies, can't you just let the pooch hang out a little two months post baby? Must you wear tight pants with no apparent saddlebags and crop tops without a sign of a saggy belly, stretch marks or a c-section scar and say it is all due to working out and "eating right"? No? Fine then! ::sulks::


I do admit, I don't think my body looks THAT bad post-baby. I meant really, I gained something like 42 pounds in the end, and Lucy was only 7 lbs 3 oz, so I did pack on a little extra padding on during my pregnancy. Maybe it was the cheesecake that I ate everyday...mmm, cheesecake, God I love cheesecake.


I started out at 140 lbs pre-pregnancy, I am now at 137 lbs but STILL do not necessarily fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans (I think I've got two pairs on steady rotation out of like...oh... twelve!). That is frustrating. I am still holding a lot of my weight around my middle and, let's be honest, a bunch of it in my boobs (formerly A's now C's, I'm not complaining about that!), so mathematically speaking I should be thinner somewhere else, right? Now if I could only find out where that is and highlight it... does anyone know how to highlight thin ears or skinny feet?

Anyways, you are now officially warned, I'm posting pictures of my bare stomach (::gasp::). Here are the before, during and after pictures:


April 2008





December 2008





May 2009






Ok, it's not too shabby, right? I even think it doesn't look THAT different in the pictures, (you can't see the stretch markets that MAGICALLY appeared only AFTER I had Lucy!), but I definitely notice my extra baggage around the middle, especially when I sit down. Also, when you look at my stomach from the front my belly button now looks sad think :( instead of surprised :o.


Ideally, I'd like to get down to 128 lbs. It's the weight where I've felt the most confident and I haven't weighed that much since Rob and I were dating (damn him and his culinary training!). Any ideas on how? Is anyone out there doing the 30 Day Shred? I've heard about it in the blogosphere and am thinking of giving it a whirl.

"Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes."

-Joyce Armor

Blogolympics Day One...

I love being home so much. I love waking up in the morning, grabbing Lucy from her crib, feeding her and going back to sleep for an hour with her all snuggled up against me. Rob bringing me tea in bed isn't too shabby either. HA! Lucy is so darn happy when she realizes that mom isn't rushing to drop her off at Nan 's in the morning (Nan=My Mother who takes care of Lucy when I'm at work). She gets so excited when she wakes up from her morning nap and, whahoo! Mom is still here! I'm that exciting folks, or at least my daughter thinks so.

We had an exciting incident this morning as this morning was bath time. I find bathing a baby very difficult without another set of hands to help. She's just so darn slippery and wiggly and I'm always afraid I'm going to bump her head or get her ears underwater when she lays back onto the headrest... but I digress, when bath time was over I put Lucy on her changing pad in her crib to go get a diaper. Now USUALLY I put a washcloth under her bottom because we have peed on ourselves one too many times, but this one time that I don't what to I come back to? Poop...and pee... all the way up to her HEAD! EEK! On my nice clean, delicious Burt's Bees' smelling baby. Damn!

What to do? I don't want to run another bath, and there is just too much poo to simply wipe her down, (poo in the HAIR people, poo.in.the.hair). So I jump in the shower with her. I expected that she wouldn't like this very much, but she LOVED it! She laughed the entire time. Apparently showers are hilarious! So much easier than the bath too... I think we've found a new way to clean this baby. Hurrah!

As I type right now she's sitting in her ExerSaucer, a gift from "The Easter Bunny", which in actuality is my mom's friend "Grandma Barb" (as she calls herself) who is extremely smitten with our Lucy (really, who isn't?). We had lunch today with the girls from work and next up on our busy vacation schedule will be napping while watching Oprah and doing a load of cloth diapers (which I love and will post about this week).

Man, I would love this to be my life everyday, yes even the washing dirty diapers part. I'm totally not kidding.

Lastly, Since people often ask me questions in the comments section and I never get around to answering half of them I'd like to do a question and answer post this week. So if you'd have any burning questions to ask of me about...well, anything, go ahead and ask in the comments of this post. I'll do the Q&A post later this week.

“Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love.”

-Mildred B. Vermont

Childbirth Class...

Rob and I finished up our childbirth classes last week and aside from looking absolutely horrified at the first (rather graphic) birth video I thought Rob was being quite the trooper about it all. We had gotten through the classes without him running away screaming, so I had thought we were all good, until the last class in which we went over post-labor issues.

Rob being the studious student that he is, was coloring in the people on the "labor techniques" flier while the teacher happened to be going over what to expect post-birth and pulled out the mesh undies for all to look at. Rob being engrossed in his coloring didn't really pay attention and me, feeling that this was an important part of the class started subtly elbowing him in the side...just in time for the teacher to pull out the (dum dum dum) PAD. Ah the post-birth pad, which bears and amazing resemblance to a king sized down pillow:



Rob happened to look up right at the moment the teacher pulled out the pad and exclaimed:

"Where does THAT go???"

The teacher laughed at him and demonstrated how said "pillow" fit into the mesh undies, and not very well if I might say so myself, the pad dwarfed those poor mesh panties.

Rob: "No really, WHERE DOES THAT GO?"

Everyone laughed but Rob told me when we got into the car that he was totally serious. He cannot imagine how something like that fits into a pair of panties. I think the hardest part about the childbirth classes were not the videos full of full on naked ladies naturally birthing their babies, not the class on placenta or c-sections, but the horrific realization that there will be a necessity for a full on king sized pillow to be shoved into my fancy mesh panties. Poor guy!

Had a doctor's appointment today. I am now 1 1/2 centimeters dilated, 60% effaced and my cervix is midline (whoo hoo)! I suppose all of this means she could come tomorrow or she could come in two weeks. Who knows! I'm hoping before Christmas but not in the middle of the upcoming huge snowstorm (the third one this week, unheard of in Oregon) because I'd like to actually MAKE it to the hospital and not have the baby in the freezing snow on the side of Highway 26, not to mention my doctor, who I LOVE, is OUT OF TOWN the December 26th through January 4th (the nerve of her, going on vacation). My bags are packed and ready to go so come on Miss Lucy, we're ready when you are!

Lucy's Room - complete except for my rocking chair we need to get from my mom's house.

Super cute moses basket for beside our bed/ downstairs:



The crazy SNOW and our Christmas tree!


And, drumroll please, my massive self at 37 weeks knocked up!



"Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes. "

-Joyce Armor

Things I Have Learned...

There are several key things I have learned throughout my pregnancy and I'm going to attempt to document them a couple at a time here, hopefully before pregnancy is over. Here are the first two...of many:

1. Exceptional Peeing in a Cup Skills

So as every doctors appointment requires me to pee in a cup, I have since because extremely skilled in the art of cup peeing. In the beginning, by the time I got to the doctor's office I would have to pee so badly that I would run into the bathroom, do a dance while writing my name on the label, slap it on and grab the cup and pee. This seems simple enough except for the fact that I don't think I've every quite pinpointed the exact location of my urethra. Gros overshare, maybe, but true...yes! Half the time I would end up peeing all over my hand or all over the cup, which I would have already put the label on and now said label is all wet with pee. Or I would completely miss the cup completely and end up forcing myself to produce the most pathetic pee sample ever. I would always feel so bad for the nurse who had to pick it up after I was done with it. Now I am awesome. I know now to write the label AFTER I've peed in the cup which = no pee-stained label and I've pretty much pinpointed the appropriate location, which means I can now bulls-eye into my target like you wouldn't believe. No need for wiping the cup or re-writing the label afterwards. I have become a CHAMP at peeing in a cup. Thank you pregnancy!

2. Have Come to Accept that I am Either a Freak of Nature or a Show and Tell Project

Another thing I've learned is that pregnant people are completely amazing in the eyes of others, either in the "Oh my lord I didn't know people could get that big you freak of nature" kind of amazing or the "Oh look at this fabulous specimen of a glowing child bearing vessel of loveliness" amazing. Complete strangers approach me on the street commenting about my belly, whether it is pointing out how large I am or pointing out how incredible I am. My own mother uses me as her own personal show and tell project, as in whenever we see someone we might vaguely know or recognize it is immediately "Hi, So-And-So... look, here is my daughter she is PREGNANT! Can you believe it?" (as if they couldn't already tell by the massive protrusion coming from my middle). The other day a woman stopped me and and said "I just love your belly", like it was a super cute pair of designer jeans I was sporting, I wanted to say "Thank you! I picked it up at this super cute boutique (called Oregon Reproductive Medicine) down on 23rd Ave." Fabulous!

To be continued...

Had my maternity photo session today and had SO much fun! I can't wait to see how they turned out. Thank you Jen!!

We're coming along quite swimmingly on Lucy's nursery. I'll take some pictures tomorrow to show the progress we have made...and of her jam packed closet, she is going to be one fashionable gal!

AND ps. It's my 28th Birthday tomorrow!!

"Pregnant women... They had that weird frisson, an aura of magic that combined awkwardly with an earthy sense of duty. Mundane, because they were nothing unique on the suburban streets; ethereal because their attention was ever somewhere else. Whatever you said was trivial. And they had that preciousness which they imposed wherever they went, compelling attention, constantly reminding you that they carried the future inside, its contours already drawn, but veiled, private, an inner secret."

-Ruth Morgan

Oversharing...

I've noticed really funny thing lately, the larger around the middle I get, the more people seem to want to share intimate, personal details of their lives as a pregnant person with me, even when they've never met me before in their life.

I was checking out at the store the other day, it was particularly busy that day and there was a long line behind me. I walk up to the girl behind the register and this is how our conversation goes (loudly, in public, with many people within earshot):

Cashier: "Hello!"

Me: "Hi. How are you"

C: "Very well thank you-- Oh LOOK at you! I just noticed that are pregnant!"

Me: "Yes, I am!"

C: "You know what? I had a water birth. How do you feel about water birth?"

Me: "Er, well, I'm not really considering it."

C: "You should. Really. It is wonderful. I didn't need any drugs or anything. Women should never need any drugs, they've been doing this for ages. Are you having drugs? You're not, are you?" ::disapproving look::

Me: "Er...um... I'm not quite sure yet." (please note that at this point I'm feeling super awkward because A.) She's speaking REALLY loudly and B.) I only have one item, which was rang up about 5 minutes ago.)

C: "Do you have music set up? I played music really loudly, not like Enya or any of that crap, I totally rocked out to ACDC and burned incense. I don't think anyone else at the waterbirth center liked it but I thought it was wonderful. You should do that."

Me: I don't say anything because A. I hate incense and B. I'm just desperately trying to escape at this point as the people in line behind me are getting antsy and staring...a lot.

C:"You know what I found to be really helpful?"

Me: Thinking to myself "No, but I bet you're going to tell me!"

C: "When I was at the end of my third trimester and really wanted to go into labor I stimulated my nipples." I swear her voice rose about three decimals at that point and EVERYONE in line behind me heard, "I just rubbed them really good, and had my husband rub them. Like this..." And then, in line, with about 7 people behind me she demonstrated, just for me, how she stimulated her nipples, "Yep, I went into labor 2 hours later. I just did this." Continues to make circular rubbing motion around nipples," My husband enjoyed it too. Not to hard, but not to soft. Works like a charm!"

Me: Staring at her in absolute dismay with my face tomato red, "Um...er...uh...thanks. I...um...have to go now..."

Why?!?!

"Everything grows rounder and wider and weirder, and I sit here in the middle of it all and wonder who in the world you will turn out to be."

-Carrie Fisher

Ultrasound Story...

Well it's about time I posted my BIG ultrasound story... over a month and a half later. Bad me!

Let's go way back to our big US back in the beginning of August, Rob had taken the day off for the occasion and I was only working half day. He picked me up for work in the afternoon, it is lucky I only worked that long that day because I just could NOT concentrate on work!

I had decided I needed to drink three glasses of water, a juice and a Hansen's Strawberry Cream soda to ensure my bladder was full enough, but even by the time we got to the doctor's office, I still didn't have to go. Hmmm... maybe I should drink more water? So there I go, drinking more out of those little cone shaped cups they have in the waiting room. Still no need to pee... drink more.

So finally we get called back. This is IT, the big moment! We were both so excited, and I was so sure it was going to be a Patrick! The ultrasound nurse got us all set up and checked my bladder so she could do the part of the U/S that you need a full bladder for...and now I'm starting to feel the need to go, but she announces, NOPE, you're not full enough. WHA?? Three glasses of water, one glass of juice, a soda AND all those little cups and still not enough? What am I, a camel? So she tells me I'm going to have to do the whole ultrasound (about 45 minutes) and then we'll go back and take a look at the end.

Me:" Um, are you sure it isn't full enough, because I could definitely pee right now?"

Nurse: "Nope"

Me: "But I had so much to drink, I swear!!"

Nurse: "Sorry. Gonna have to wait."

So you all know that when you're told you CAN'T pee and have the slightest inkling that you might WANT to pee, well then you automatically HAVE to pee right that very second. But I was good, I sucked it up, took a deep breath and let her go on.

So right away she asks if we want to know. Of course! So she said, with not much fanfare, it's a girl. Yep, definitely a girl. We are both shocked, we totally were expecting a boy. But a GIRL! A Lucy!! YES! Rob immediately talks about how she's going to be a ju-jitzu champion and I elbow him and tell him she's doing ballet and riding ponies. That's the agreement, girls: I choose the sports, boys: he chooses the sport.

We're so thrilled about the news that I barely notice the nurse pointing out body parts, and is going along her merry way with the rest of the ultrasound. For a minute I look over at the nurse and she is not looking so hot. She's sweating, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand and breathing pretty hard. All of the sudden I think, "OMG. She is going to have a heart attack while doing our ultrasound!" She sees me wide-eyed, staring at her and assures me that she's only having a hot flash. I laugh because it is funny that I know exactly how that feels (see posts in reference to the evil fertility drug Clomid. Clomid = hot flashes way before you're supposed to know what one feels like).

Apparently the hot flashes has made the nurse a little cranky, and also apparently the soda and juice I drank made little Lucy a little hyper, so the nurse is getting so frustrated at Lucy flipping around in there that during the U/S she often grabs my stomach and shakes it. Um, and YES at this point I REALLY need to pee, so the shaking of the tummy and the pressing of the ultrasound machine are getting ridiculous! I have to pee so bad at this point it isn't even funny. I was so distracted by the need to pee that I almost missed this little gem: As the nurse was going over body parts, Rob was learning forward and scrutinizing the screen and nodding.

Nurse: "And here are the lips..."

Rob: :: turns head, frowning, and nods like he knows what she's pointing out:

Nurse: ::continuing: "...of the vagina."

Rob: "Wha?!" :: immediately looks down, up, sideways anywhere but the screen::

I swear she did it on purpose, there was a definite pause. Poor Rob!

So finally she lets me pee, after more no-so-gentle jiggling of my belly. We got some great pictures and were so excited to get out of there and share the news with our friends and family.

Here is Miss Lucy Elizabeth's latest photo shoot:

She's got my nose in that first one. The second she's waving at mom and dad!

Lastly, here's a picture of my new niece, Guiliana Joy M, or Gigi for short, in Connecticut.

"A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life."

Irish Saying

Reveal...!

Sorry for the delay in sharing the "big reveal" of Miss. Lucy Elizabeth! I was planning on blogging from my mother-in-law's computer from Connecticut, but as it turns out she had a virus and her computer was down for the whole vacation. So I didn't even see all 33 of the comments until we returned home today! So without further adieu...here it is:

We thought that we had more time to prepare the video camera since our flight was early, so we were a little rushed to get the camera out and ready since the fam was standing there right as we got through the doors! And yes, I keep laughing like an idiot the entire time since I had no idea what the response was going to be like. Luckily, it was just a lot of my mother-in-law hugging. No hysterics, no fainting and thankfully, no throttling of Rob.

Rob's dad totally didn't get it though. You don't see it in the video but he had no clue what was going on. He was so confused as to why my mother-in-law was so surprised, or (again) why I spent the entire first 5 minutes laughing like an idiot. He kept saying "What are you yelling about?" to my mother-in-law until, a couple of minutes later, he finally got it. The shirt probably gave it away. I don't have a picture of it, but it says "Surprise! Meet Lucy Elizabeth!".

Everyone was absolutely THRILLED!! My mother-in-law particularly! And no one even gave us a hard time for keeping Lucy a secret for so long. It was such a great surprise though. I should never have doubted Rob. He was right, it was so worth it...keeping the secret.

Although one person was less than thrilled. My 4 year old niece Bella. When we got to the house she didn't quite "get" that we were having a baby until her mom took her on a walk and told her. When they came back we were all sitting at the table and Bella sat down next to me and looked me straight in the eye and said, very disapprovingly:

"So I heard you were pregnant."

This coming from a FOUR year old!!! She was so mad at me. This child is 4 going on 40. She was so disapproving and disgusted that I had the gall to go and get pregnant. She then proceeded to tell me that I was "not welcome here" and I could go home, (although I had to leave Uncle Rob with her). It was hilarious. I laugh whenever I think about her serious little face. She forgave me a couple hours later and spent the rest of the trip kissing my stomach and pointing out to people that I was pregnant, and then trying to shake my stomach with her little chubby hands. She is unbelievable that one. I only wish I had her on video! The nerve of me, going and getting pregnant without consulting her!

There was a party for his brother who recently returned from Iraq, and we were able to tell everyone else. I cannot even tell you how many times I answered the following questions:

"When are you due?"

"Is it a girl or a boy?"

"Did you decide on a name?"

"How do you feel?"

I felt like a parrot all night long saying:

"New Year's Day. A girl. Lucy Elizabeth. Pretty good now." Over and over an over!

We had an absolutely wonderful time in Connecticut, although neither of us are looking forward to going back to work next week (booo!), I think me easpecially. Without the stress of my job I had so much time to think about Lucy and my pregnancy, things that I barely have time to think about when my job is consuming 80% of my time and energy. I'm going to get started on reading the labor books and deciding my "plan" and also, as of next week I'm going to start prenatal yoga and swimming with my mom twice a week. As much as I feel like I need to be the "best I can be" at this job, Lucy and this pregnancy is way more important. That is the one thing I need to keep in mind. This job isn't forever, Lucy and our little family of three is.

So, I am still exhausted from the trip, but I will be posting my ultrasound story and some new belly pics either tomorrow or Tuesday, depending on how work goes tomorrow (last time I checked I had 200+ emails in my work inbox, EEK). So stay tuned!

"Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts."

-Author Unknown

The Confession...

:: Deep Breath ::

Ok readers. Here it is. The confession:

We have not told Rob's parents yet. Nothing. Zip, zlich, zero, nada. I am now 17 weeks pregnant and they have no idea. They had no idea we were trying, no idea we had trouble, not idea that all it took was me, a vial of Rob's sperm, some stirrups, a doctor and a nurse in a sterile doctor's office room in order to get knocked up. They know nothing.

Why? WHY? You ask?

Well, this may just go down as THE WORST IDEA EVER from my husband.

Before we got pregnant we had scheduled our annual trek out to Connecticut for 10 days in August. Then it actually happened, we amazingly got pregnant! So within that first week of new pregnant-ness I asked Rob, "So how/when do you want to tell your parents?" Imagine my shock when he thought it was just about the BEST.IDEA.EVER to wait until we go out there to tell them in person...when I would be, oh, only a mere 22 weeks along. I tried to talk him out of it, I swear I did, I begged, I pleaded, I resorted to violence and punched him repeatedly in the arm, all to no avail. He is the most easy-going guy ever, except for when he has set his mind on something, and then that is IT. Stubborn as an ass. He wants to tell them in person and not over the phone and nothing will change that.

Picture this: The In-laws waiting for us at the gate at JFK. Plane lands. Rob walks out first, me hiding behind him in absolute panic.

In-laws: "Oh, Rob, Bev you're here! It is so wonderful to see you!!!":: they finally get a glimpse of me:: "What the... are you?? WHAT THE HELL?!?! " ...Chaos ensues.

I keep rationalizing it to myself that brother-in-law just recently returned from 2 years in Iraq, sister-in-law just had her third baby last week so they've had plenty of excitement this summer. This is what I keep saying to myself to justify this crazy, insane idea. Please note, I don't speak to in-laws often and I would never go behind Rob's back to tell them, as several people have suggested. So he gets his way, his family, his decision.

So that is it. That is my juicy confession. Juicy enough for you? Don't blame me, dear readers, I tried and tried to talk him out of it. I am simply along for the ride. I am totally wearing a shirt that says, "This was HIS idea" with an arrow pointing to Rob. Although I hope they would know I mean the surprise and NOT the baby! I might have to re-think that wording. Do you think that "Your son is crazy and refused to let me tell you until we walked off of this plane" would be too long for a T-shirt? Probably.

They will be thrilled...when the inital shock wears off. And honestly, you have to know my in-laws. They won't be angry, really they won't, I know them. They will just be completely shocked beyond belief at first, I mean look at how big I am now (just wait until I upload my latest pics)! They are a different breed of people, I can't quite explain it, but just trust me on this one.

...And, you have to admit, what in the world will ever top this surprise???

“They can call me crazy if I fail, all the chance that I need, is one-in-a-million and they can call me brilliant if I succeed.”

-Ani Difranco

Happy Fourth of July!!

Here we are at Week 14!

Baby M's latest photo shoot at the NT Scan (and I have to point out that is TOTALLY my profile!!) looking good baby, looking good!

Funny story about today. We went to my Aunt and Uncle's house for a family BBQ and it was the first time them seeing us since we announced we were pregnant. Here is how it went with my aunt:

Auntie J: "Hello!!!" ::immediately rubs stomach:: Nooo! The horror!

Me: :: gently removes hand from belly:: "Hi Auntie J, how are you?"

Auntie J: "My goodness, is it twins? It looks like it is twins!" ::hand to belly again::

Me: "No, no. Quite sure it isn't twins." ::covers stomach with massive purse::

Auntie J: "Are you sure? It looks like it!" ::attempts to navigate around purse::

Ok, so I may look a little big for 14 weeks, but SERIOUSLY I am not THAT big! I guess I better get used to it...and the damn belly rubs! Get off of my BELLAH!!!

"The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together."

-Erma Bombeck

Spot Watch 4/26/2008...

STILL NO SPOTTING!

So with that update out of the way I have a funny story....

Last night when I was opening my prometrium,(to stick them where the sun don't shine), the top flew off and ALL the pills fell into the toilet. The TOILET! ARGH! I quickly scooped them out and attempted to dry them off but when I went to take one this morning I found that they had all fused together in a solid mass. I wrestled one off to take this morning (hey, the toilet water was clean and at this point I'm not going to get squeamish), but figured it would be a better move to just get some more. I don't know how water affects them and I don't want to take any chances.

So since they are "refill" as needed I went to the pharmacy to sheepishly explain why I needed to refill them 5 days before they were due to be refilled. I walk up to the lady, we'll call her Super Smart Pharm Lady, at the pharmacy counter:

Me: "Excuse me, I need to refill my prometrium prescription. I dropped mine in the toilet."

SSPL: "Hmmm, it looks like you don't have a refill."

Me: "Are you sure? I thought they were refill as needed."

SSPL: "Hmmm, no. We'll have to call your doctor. Which means they may not get back to you by Monday."

Me: "Um, ok. I guess I'll just use the ones I have."

SSPl: "The ones that fell in the TOILET?"

Me: "Yeah. What else am I supposed to do? Sheesh lady."

SSPL: :: looks at me like I'm insane::

I walk away from the counter and think, hmm, that's weird. It isn't like I'm taking them orally.

Ten minutes later I get a call from my RE's office, (they're open on Saturdays and Sundays, God bless them!), asking why I'm trying to refill my CLOMID since I'm due for bloodwork on Monday.

::head smack::

Stupid pharmacy lady didn't listen to WHICH prescription I was asking for. No wonder she looked at me like I was totally disgusting, she thought I was talking about taking Clomid pills out of the toilet water and swallowing them! EW!

Rob and I laughed about that for about 10 minutes!

"Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I've had my share. But whatever happens to you, you have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the final analysis, you have got not to forget to laugh."

-Katherine Houghton Hepburn

Damn Meds...

Does taking Progesterone make anyone else STARVING?!?!

I got home from work today and ate the following (in no particular order):

1. Pork Top Ramen

2. A half a pineapple

3. Chips and Salsa

4. A couple handfuls of little tomatoes

5. A handful of low fat Cheez Its

6. Leftover steak from last night's dinner.

7. A piece of my Tangerine Glaze Bundt Cake from Sunday Dinner.

So gross! I have turned into crazy, rabid, ravenous, non-stop eating pig. Now that I look back at that list I'm totally disgusted by half of it...and I'm still hungry. AND I had a late lunch! Stupid Meds, they're going to make a fat cow of me yet, pregnant or not!

"Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity."

-Voltaire

I'm Gonna Be A Supermodel...

I was talking to Rob the other night about the compliments we have had over the past couple of years regarding our reproductive organs. One doctor had said I had a "a really, really good looking cervix", his sperm were deemed"great looking" from his SA, and this last doctor said I had "beautiful" tubes.

Me: "Apparently we are the supermodels of reproductive organs."

Rob: " We are like supermodels. Really, really ridiculously good looking, but that's about all there is to us!"

I'm glad we're to the point where we can laugh about these things together. It feels good. :)

"I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is."

-Derek Zoolander

Button it up ladies...

Funny thing happened at work today. We took our new hire out to lunch, poor guy, he's the lone man in a department full of twenty to early thirty-something women. Us girls usually have no holds barred coversations at lunch ranging from sex to our wild college days to ex-boyfriends to current gripes with our husbands to sharing too much information about bodily functions. With our new guy around we had all promised to tone down the girl talk a bit.

Lunch was going pretty well until we realized that we were all of the sudden SURROUNDED by babies. Literally..surrounded. I'm kid you not. There were at least five or six women, milling around our table with either brand new babies in slings, strollers or car seats. It was bizarre. One of the girls, who has a one year old, said "Oh my goodness, look at all the babies!!!" She paused and said, "Seriously, I want to have another like NOW."

At that point our good intentions about limiting the girl talk went out the window and all of the girls began ooh-ing and ahhh-ing over the herd of babies. Everyone (except for my boss, our new hire and myself) started talking about how much they want to get pregnant. I should mention that most of the girls in the office are either pregnant or have been pregnant in the last year or are trying to get pregnant.

All of the sudden, my boss, a woman who dotes over everyone's babies but does not want any of her own, annouces, "NO ONE is having any more babies!!! I need you all!! Button it up ladies!"

At this point the poor guys looks absolutely terrified. I'm sure he was thinking, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?".

Poor thing.

I'm pretty sure my boss is counting on me to be the person who isn't trying to get knocked up... if she only knew the truth.

Anyways, it was pretty darn funny!

"We're not barren, we're reproductively challenged!"

-Charlotte from "Sex and the City"

Sexy Hank, Early O and Dr. DD Follow Up...

I'm so sorry I've been slacking off of my blogging lately. I've got bloggers block! I guess that this T-TTC stuff has caught up to me in the last couple weeks and I just needed a break. Rob and I actually discussed taking an official TTC break for a couple months just to regroup and ( ::gasp:: the dreaded R word) RELAX! We're somewhat adhering to that...well, he is. Me... not to much.

I need the break but I just cannot do it! My CBEFM was calling my name on CD 7. "C'mon, you know you want to do it. Just pee on the stick... you've got like 20 of them. Just do it. Everyone else is doing it. C'mon, turn me on baby. I promise I'll give you a high. " Apparently my CBEFM is a man with a low, sexy voice too... it is a bit disturbing when it talks dirty to me. I think I shall name him Hank.

I have no willpower and I did it. I peed on the stick. I'm like an addict. Hank did not lie... he gave me a high on CD 7 and by CD 9 I had my peak! What?! That is crazy early for my O date! I'm so ok with this early Oing. I had AF and then a couple days later wham, bam I'm in the two week wait already. Thank you Hank!

I also had a follow-up doctors appointment with my regular doctor yesterday. I told her about what Dr. DD said and she was more professional that I had hoped. Ok, being perfectly professional and telling me that "All doctors have different ideas on treatment, IF is a very varied field in medicine. Yada yada yada" is great and all but deep down I'm hoping she smacks a bitch after I left the office and that she was purely putting on a professional demeanor for show.

We have a new treatment plan. Next week I go in for an ultrasound to see if anything jumps out at her as being wrong in the ole uterus, tubes and ovaries. This will at least confirm whether my ovaries were hyperstimulated with the Clomid last cycle, which is a question I definitely wanted answered. After that I schedule the dreaded HSG. I'm thinking that shooting dye up one's nether regions isn't exactly going to be a fun time, but you do what you have to do right? I'm not going to lie. Not to mention I'm totally dreading it and the several hundred dollars I'm going to have to pay to have this fun little procedure done. Wheee! I also have to decide whether I want to schedule it for January because really a HSG is not exactly what was on my Christmas list. :: humming :: "All I want for Christmas is an HSG, and HSG and HSG..." to the tune of All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth.

Anyways, my ultrasound is next Wednesday at 8:45 in the morning. Compared to the looming possibility of the HSG it should be a piece of cake, but I just cannot stop thinking about the fact that I'm going in the get an ultrasound... not to hear or see a baby. I always thought my first ultrasound would be an incredible, exciting experience where Rob and I would hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time. It is a little hard thinking that I'll be having it just to see if there is anything obviously wrong with me. It is a good thing, I know this! It is just a hard realization that I'm not having an ultrasound to see a baby.

Anyways, wish me luck!

"Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are."

-Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha