The Last Year...

...It's so overwhelming, where do I start?


Had the Zoe - She was beautiful and perfect and amazing and lovely. Although I will say, the hormones did a number on me this time. Rob brought Lucy to come see me in the hospital the second day and I cried like a baby when they left. I actually cried pretty much all night long (Rob was going home with Luce so I was alone). The next day I was fine, but that night alone in the hospital was rough even though Zoe was a dream baby.


Miss Zoe continued to be a dream baby for about three weeks. Then Rob went back to work. Then she turned into a screaming banshee. An adorable banshee, but a banshee. She started screaming at about 8 pm at night and stopped at around 2 or 3 am. That is about 7 hours straight of screaming. She also screamed during the day, but not quite as much or as heartily. We thought, like Lucy, that she had colic. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Rob and I would take turns at night walking her around our room and watching re-runs of Food Channel shows on Netflix. To this day I cannot watch Man V. Food without the cringing.


After a couple weeks of this torture I decided I wasn't writing this off as colic. I took her to the pediatrician who promptly diagnosed her with reflux and started her on Zantac, warning me that it could take a couple weeks to kick in. And just so you know, when they told me that my baby, whose baby screams lasted 10+ hours a day would have to wait a couple of weeks for relief, I cried, as much for me as for her because I knew she was uncomfortable but I was losing my ever-loving mind. Well, Miss Z decided to take full advantage of this waiting time for the meds to kick in and proceeded to scream all the way through them. I even took her to a chiropractor (on the suggestion of a dear friend who worked at the chiro's office and had seen some success in colic/reflux babies). However, I cannot tell you whether it was the chiro or the Zantac that did it but as quickly as she started screaming, it stopped at when she hit about 10 weeks old. I cannot describe to you the relief, for all of us! We loved that baby but I would hear her screaming in my ears even during the day when she was sleeping! Also something that helped, Colic Calm. That stuff is like black gold, even if it ruins every outfit we ever put on her.


I'm not kidding when I tell you I thought I was going to lose my mind with Zoe's screaming, and honestly, I was alone pretty much every day. I had a couple visitors here and there but other than that I was alone until Rob came home at night. Not that there is anything bad about that, but postpartum anxiety + screaming baby + mischievous/rebellious toddler = my volunteering to go back to work right around 10 weeks post partum. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.


As soon as I returned to work Z's reflux meds started to work and she was a sweet dream, as my mother tells me. She never screamed and an angel all day, every day. This is me, kicking myself now. Stupid Stupid Stupid.


Let me tell you something about my old job. I worked like a dog. I literally did the job of what a whole team of people usually do for a company of that size. 12-14 hours a day and on the weekends. Everyone there in my department did it.  It wasn't set as an expectation but when everyone else is doing it...yep, I was a sheep. I did it too. You would work all day, usually through lunch. Then go home and EVERYONE would log on late at night for several hours. If you didn't log on, you'd open your email in the morning to a gazillion emails from everyone else who was working last night and would feel like the ultimate slacker for not being one of them (rewards for performance were BIG and everyone wanted to be the top, including me). I loved my team, LOVED them and still do, but I couldn't keep it up. I happened across a job posting on Craigslist and, on a whim, applied for a HR Analyst position at a company literally two blocks away from my current company.


I didn't think anything of it, until I was offered the job and had to give notice at my current job. Well, I don't know if you know this but sometimes, when someone does the work of several people, it's NOT a good thing for them to leave! Panic ensues. So, I offer to stay on, part-time, to help with the transition while they outsourced my (one) position to another company.


There is something you should know about me, I CANNOT do anything half-ass. So, while I'm throwing myself into this new job I was also working full-time on my OLD job until the outsourced. So, let me break this down for you. Wake up, go to work - 9 hours at Job A. Come home, dinner, bath, baby snuggling then at 8:00, when they were asleep, I would log on to Job B until the wee, WEE hours of the morning, usually between 12-2 am. Would also put in over 10 hours each weekend. Total I would say I was working, on average, 80 hours per week. And yes, I still spent as much time as possible with the kiddies. Most of my extra work time was at night and amazingly, at first, I was able to function on an insanely small amount of sleep...for a period of time. At the end I really started to go downhill.


I did this from July 2011 to March 2012. Something else you should know. I raked in the Benjamins. So, no, it was not all for nothing. Which leads us to, what was I going to do with that $$? 


There was a purpose of why I continued to do it. We decided this housing market was our chance to get into something that better fit out expanding family. So, we sold our house. Oh man, was that hard. I looooved our little house, but it was just that, little. Bursting at the seams for a family of four, a dog and two cats. We thought it would be on the market forever with all the hype about the down housing market. Wrong! Listed in September sold by November 23rd. Granted, we took a loss and paid to get out of it, but it was what we needed to do to move on. The sale went so quickly that we didn't even have time to find a replacement property. So we moved in with my Mom who I love and adore but also REALLY, REALLY likes to give "advice" and REALLY, REALLY thinks that I should take EVERY PIECE of advice she every gives me and if I do not she immediately takes offense and gets all huffy and offended for extended periods of time and generally makes me miserable (not necessarily on purpose, it's just the way she is). Which is fine, when you don't live under the same (small) roof and feel like you're going to go all REDRUM on one another if it doesn't end soon.


We found a Short Sale and made an offer. We thought, oh yes, we can wait because its an AMAZING house, GREAT deal, we're SURE those reports of people waiting 6 months for Short Sales is totally an exaggeration. Um, WRONG. Totally NOT an exaggeration. Short Sales are the devil. So started the waiting and waiting and waiting.


Meanwhile, I'm starting to feel...panic. Sheer panic. I feel like I am drowning under the pressure of Job A, Job B, House, Kids, Mom, Husband, Animals. OMG. I call my doctor to let her know I've been short of breath lately and am shaky. Also, terrified that something terrible is going to happen. What if one of the girls falls down the stairs, what if they get cancer, what if we get in a car accident. Cannot. Breathe.


I see the doctor and she, gently, suggests that I should probably 1. take this RX for Zoloft and 2. Speak to a Counselor. I do both.


I'm going to be frank here. I don't think the Zoloft did me any good. Even after waiting a couple weeks I didn't see that much of a difference. On the other hand, the counselling was great. Honestly, the first time I went in it was like. Oh yes, I'm fine, everything is fine but... 


I'mworkingamillionhoursandI'mworriedaboutmykidsandIcannotseemtostoptobreathandmymotherisonmelikeaheatrasheverydayandmyhusbandactslikeeverytingiscompletelynormalandittotallyisn'tandIfeelikeI'mlosingmyeverlovingmind.


And she's all "Um, Duh?". OK, not in so many words but basically:

1. I have what appears to be a history of anxiety and depression.
2. Working 80+ hours a week is not sustainable and is detrimental to your mental and physical health.
3. I am living with my lovely but HIGHLY opinionated mother in a cramped living space that is not my own.
4. Rob, who also is lovely, is a totally oblivious to the fact that I am on the edge of a complete breakdown.
5. I'm not sleeping due to work and the fact that Zoe wakes up every other hour at night. You can go for awhile on less sleep, but then you get to a point that sleep deprivation is TRULY a form of torture.
6. See above - lather, rinse, repeat.

So, I nixed the Zoloft and continued the counselling. It felt good and finally recognized that we had MORE than enough money in savings and that Job B was more than ready to go on without me and that I needed to be done with all that nonsense like NOW. So, as of March 1 I had one job and it felt incredible. Because really, I hadn't had a normal work-life balance in years. I worked long hours throughout my career at my previous job, including through two pregnancies, and I could not backtrack away from the expectations that I had created for myself at that company. Even though I had been working, very successfully at Job A since July of 2011 I felt like I had a clean slate and man, it felt good.


Fast forward to present. May 2012. Last week the offer on the Short Sale was approved by the major lien holder. We still need approval from the junior lien holders but luckily they are all at the same bank, so there shouldn't be too much haggling now that the main loan has accepted our offer. We're hoping to be IN THE HOUSE by the end of June. Hallelujah!


I'm going to tell you why this house purchase was so worth every penny that I saved. Our old house - 1200 square feet, in a not-so-good neighborhood and a terrible school district (even though we loved it and I wouldn't trade our newlywed and new family years there for anything). New house - 2270 square feet, great, tree-lined neighborhood, solid school district. The best part about it...the difference in our monthly mortgage payments? Less than $100. AWESOME. Thank you terrible housing market and incredible mortgage loan rates! 


Bigger house = more kids? Well I hate to disappoint but I'm not pregnant again...but I want to be. Am I crazy or am I CRAZY? Yes, I want more. At least two more littles hanging around. Probably in another couple years. First, I've got to figure out a couple things about work and being at home and all that jazz. I've got some thoughts up my sleeve, but they're a discussion for a later date.


Some of you have asked about the Rob. My husband, though oblivious to the fact that sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind, is also incredible. He gets the short end of the stick sometimes, because I'm damn busy, but takes it like a champ. And I promise I'll make it up to him when we're no longer sharing a room with a baby (living with mom, remember?) who decided that as soon as we moved into my mom's house she would STOP sleeping through the night and proceeded to wake up 2-5 times per night until last month (oh sweet relief). 


Speaking of sleeping, we actually made a deal a couple months ago. I get up with the baby during the night and he would get up with her when she woke up at early every morning. Sounded like a good idea at which point she promptly stopped waking up early and then woke up multiple times at night (see mind-losing #5). I didn't say a word because I knew that there would be sweet relief soon enough and I was right. For the past two weeks Z has slept ALL night and gleefully woken up at 5:45 in the morning, at which point I jab Rob in the side with my finger and say "Rob, get the baby". Then I laugh evilly and go back to sleep. To his credit, he has only complained about it once or twice...to me. I'm sure he tell grumbles to Zoe every morning when she sees him and demands "UPPY!" at 5:45 am. But she's so dang cute I'm sure he can't be grumpy for long. He hasn't mentioned reneging on our deal yet, but I'm sure there will be an expiration of the deal at some point, but for now I'm going to keep it going for a long as humanly possible!


And peeps, my girls. My girls are amazing. They are the lights of my life. Lucy is so, so smart. It's ridiculous how smart she is. Zoe too. I'm not just saying that. She can count to FIVE people. FIVE. I tell them that, every day. That they are so smart and I love them so,so,so much. Sometimes I feel like my heart could burst into a million pieces because it is just so full of love for them. I cannot even begin to describe them. They are THAT amazing. You'll see. Now that I've brought you up to date with this enormous, rambling post that possibly makes no sense to anyone but me I can start telling you about all their hijinks and adorable-ness going forward. I can't wait.


Phew. That was a lot. Did I lose you all out there?

"And remember that behind every successful woman......is a basket of dirty laundry."

-Unknown

A Reminder...

Sometimes, after a day like this one, after a week last the last one, after a month like the one past I need to remember to go back and listen to this link in an old post as a reminder. What I am doing matters. And I'm doing the best I can. I listen to this once, and it just brings me back to my reality. It is up to me to define my life.

Defining a Movement

"You have to be brave with your life, so others can be brave with theirs."
-Katherine Center

Rough Night...

...someone, anyone...please tell me this gets easier? This is worse than when I went back to work when she was 4 months old. I know, I know -- its just an adjustment and a lot of change for a baby but... its hard when she seems to want anyone but me. Not to mention it's also hard when she acts like I'm trying to murder her when I try to feed her. It was a rough night.

On that note, I was never the type that wanted to keep breastfeeding past a year. Hell, I'm shocked I made it a year (believe me, its been a challenge but that is another story for another day). But now its past a year it breaks my heart just a little bit knowing that fairly soon she'll be ready to be done and that there will be one last time to share that bond. I dwell on that one. last. time. I see it coming it makes me tear up a little thinking about it. Of course there is many, many more fun and exciting times that the future holds, but there is no denying that there's something special between mother and child during those moments and to see the end of those times is, well, a little sad.

::sigh::

Someone out there, please tell me that she'll start acting like she needs or wants her mama again soon?

“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up.”

-The Wonder Years

Eat.Pray.Love...

Every year I make resolutions. Every year I break them within, oh, I'd say the first or second week of January. Maybe, by writing them down, I will stick to them this time. They're pretty lofty resolutions although more general than the usual "I'd like to lose 5 lbs" or "I won't complain about my job anymore". Been there, done that, broke those. In order to streamline my resolutions for this year I stole the name of a book that I've been meaning to read, but have never gotten around to doing so. The title works perfectly for my resolutions:

Eat. Pray. Love

• Eat - Change up our diet. Now this isn't a diet to lose weight (although I'm hoping that will be an added bonus). This is a diet for the health of my family. We're talking little to none processed foods (that means cutting out high fructose corn syrup, added dyes, and many of the ingredients I cannot pronounce let alone type out), more organic, more fresh foods, more raw foods, more home grown, home baked, homemade. More family meals, no more eating in front of the TV. More variety, less of the same old thing (on my part at least, Rob, well, he's a chef, he can whip up something different in a matter of minutes and have it turn out amazing, me I have a rotation of about 8 actual dinner dishes and about 80 cookbooks). I'm even going to attempt to try something new out of said cookbooks every week (or so, remember, I said these were lofty).
  

• Pray - I want us to go to church. I want to feel like there is something more and although organized religion and I have not always seen eye to eye, church does this for me. It inspires me to think beyond myself and my own little world. It makes me feel that there is someone out there watching over me and my family. Now, there are things I don't agree with. I'm more liberal than any church I've ever been to. There have been times I want to get up and walk out of a sermon. But, all in all, I know there is something more out there and I want to take time this year to explore it more myself. It's a loft goal but I'd like the read the Bible myself this year. And yes, I actually have one. I've always let someone else tell me what it says. I'd like to know for myself.
  

• Love - Now this is the most important one. I'll love my life more. This may sound strange, but I have the baby I waited so long for, a wonderful husband and fabulous family and friends, but sometimes I get too focused on the things that I don't love about my life. These things drag me down when really I should focus on the things that lift me up. Yes, there are things I'd like to change, and I have faith that those things will happen for us someday. I know they will. But until then, I need to live more for now. I'll work hard but play harder. I will enjoy now. I Will Love Now.
  

There they are. My simple, yet ambitious, resolutions. I'm going to try hard to keep them up.

What about you?

"We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential."
-Ellen Goodman

ps. This time last year we were heading to the hospital for me to have Miss. Lucy. How fast the year flies by! Birthday post for my darling girl tomorrow!!!

Goodbye Old Friend...

Sad day. My mom and I had to put down our lovely old dog Sonny today. He was a present from my dad to me just before my junior year in high school, a wild, insane puppy who loved all of us with reckless abandon. Most importantly he has been a constant companion to my mom ever since my dad passed away.

I've had many pets pass away before, but never one that was such a complete member of the family. It was so hard just watching him drift away, albeit peacefully, at the vets office. In my heart I know it was the best thing for him, he was old and obviously in pain for the past couple days, but I'll just miss him so much.

He was always there to greet me when I came rushing in from high school. Waiting patiently for me when I was home for the weekend from college. Let me cry tears of grief into his furry neck when my dad passed away. Loved my dad with all of his doggie heart, waiting outside my parent's bedroom door even in the last hours of my dad's life. Tolerated my parade of boyfriends, the arrival of Rob (whom he later came to love) and even put up with my annoying cocker spaniel who was adopted just before Rob and I got married. He followed my mom around the house like a shadow, she often literally tripped over him. He guarded her house like a true watchdog, you can't even imagine the sounds that would greet anyone who dare knock on the door. Kept her company in the quiet nights after I had married and moved out into my own home. For years after my dad passed away he would sneak upstairs into my mom's room and up onto her bed, without her even knowing until morning, all 120 pounds of him, and lay there, quietly not moving a muscle as not to wake her.

I'll never believe that animals don't go to heaven. In my mind he is out there somewhere in spirit, running through fields with the wind in his ears, with no more achy bones or arthritic back to slow him down, with my Dad close by, throwing him a stick. He was never just a pet or just a dog. He was family and we will miss him so.

Goodbye, Old Friend...

"Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It's the way you ride the trail that counts,
Here's a happy one for you."
-Dale Evans

Why Hello There, It's Been Awhile...

Warning: We're about to get personal with bodily functions.

So, for the first time in 21 months, over a year and a half, its that time of the month. That's right, you guessed it, my period. Why hello there Aunt Flo, it's been awhile. Why don't you pull up a chair and stay for awhile, say like...7 days?

You may wonder why I'm posting this. I myself thought twice about doing it, but only did so for one reason. This is the first time in almost four years that it wasn't a bad thing. It's so strange. I'm wondering in anyone out there who has dealt with infertility felt the same mix of emotions the first time it came back.

I mean, no one welcomes this time of the month. In AF's two year hiatus I'd forgotten how much cramps H.U.R.T and had also conveniently forgotten that I turn into something that resembles a rabid, raging bull for at least three days. Poor Rob. The worst part is I know I'm doing it and simply cannot stop myself. For example:

Rob: "I found your car keys, they were in the fridge. Why would you put them there?"
Me: "ROOOOOAAAAR. RAAAAGGE. ROOOAAAAR." ::sulk sulk sulk::

I snap back at this most harmless comments, stew and steam about anyone who dares disagree with me. I have to make a concerted effort to not be a complete bitch. Which renders me exhausted. So there here I am, cranky, exhausted and feel like I'm being constantly headbutted in the uterus and punched in the ovaries, and them racked with guilt at my waspishness and woefully apologetic afterward on top of it. Isn't Rob a lucky guy?

It is still really strange though. This time there is no "You're NOT PREGNANT...AGAIN. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT A BABY. FAIL...AGAIN." No hurt. No tears. No hoping that it was actually implantation spotting. No imagining symptoms. No thinking ahead to the next cycle, the next month, counting the days. No ovulation predictor. No next round of Clomid. No doctor's appointment. None of that, for the first time in years.

All I could think of was...wow, you know what this means? This means I'm not pregnant and that is completely OK. It's like letting go of that old infertile feeling, and damn, it feels good. On top of it all, this means that my body can (most likely, with some help) get pregnant again. Who knows when, and who knows how long it will take or when we'll even start trying again, but I'm back on track. So strange to think about. And, even through my AF induced crankiness, super exciting to think of as well.

Someday there will be another baby...babies. There will be a big family of us. A house filled with love and children and happiness. Lucy has completed this little family, but I want more for her just as much as I want it for myself. I want her to be one of a gaggle of brothers and sisters who fiercely quarrel and even more fiercely love. Whisper secrets to one another. Stick up for each other. Make mud pies and run in the rain barefoot together. Wait for Santa. Be the best of friends in the worst of times.There will be more babies, even if they don't all come from me and Rob, there will be more and it will be amazing. In a strange way it's a new beginning.

Did anyone else out there feel the same way?

"You won't realize the distance you've gone until you look around and realize how far you've been."
-Unknown

One of those nights...

You know, those one where you just can't seem to catch a break? That was my night tonight. Or rather, my crappy day today that proceeded to continue on into my night tonight. Lucy got a cold over the weekend, so she's been pretty miserable with a stuffed up nose and you know what that means, no sleep. So no sleep Saturday or Sunday night. Throw in the fact that Rob came down with the same cold, only 100x worse than Lucy's, and ran a raging fever all last night (it was like sleeping next to a space heater) and you've got a very tired and unhappy little family. Not to mention our power went out last night so no alarm clock this morning. That means I'm scrambling this morning, late to work, sick baby, sick husband... things couldn't get worse, right? How about a raging blocked duct. Wonderful. Now I'm at work, barely getting anything when I'm pumping and feel like my left side is going to explode.

I rush home to pick up Lucy at the end of the day and she wants nothing to do with me. Refuses to nurse and reaches out for my mom when I'm holding her. It just about broke my heart (and my boob). My mom points out its because of my voice. I'm not calm enough, I'm not this, I'm not that. It's a constant thing with my mother, I am always doing something wrong. I finally get home at 7:00 pm after having to pry Lucy from my mother. Rob is still in bed (understandably, he was really sick) and what does Lucy do? Reaches for dad. No amount of cuddles will convince her to stay with mom and by this time I honestly think my left breast is going to peace out so I hand her over to Rob. I get in the shower and try to work out the knot, doesn't work. Damn.

After my should I try to get Lucy to nurse again. Fail. She wants dad. Screw you mom.

At 8:00 I get her ready for bed and try again and now that she seems maybe have a tiny interested in eating and guess what, nothing. Absolutely nothing. No milk. Now she's screaming, my milk isn't coming in, and I'm just about to break down and cry like a baby with her. I give up and put her in bed. She falls asleep immediately (I guess she didn't want to eat after all) and here I am. Totally insane blocked duct. No dinner. Mother to a baby who seems to want absolutely nothing to do with her. Husband who cannot for the life of him figure out why his wife is sobbing in the computer room.

Today I realized that this tiny person that my body made, that I carried for 9 months and for whom I have always been the center of the world, isn't always going to need me. I mean I'm sure today is just a fluke, that she's be "mom mom mom"-ing it up, reaching for me, and snuggling my shoulder like usual tomorrow. But this was the first time, the first time I wasn't the most important person in the room. It's funny but for these 9 months Lucy has really only had eyes for mom. It just made me realize, she's not always going to need me, she's not always going to want me around and that it is amazing how one tiny person can just about break you heart without even meaning to.

What in the world do you do when you just have one of those days?

Edit: She just woke up and all she wanted was "Momom"...man, I am so melodramatic! Chalk it up to lack of sleep and the damn blocked duct, which feels so much better now (since she was hungry as well).

“Change is never easy. You fight to hold on. You fight to let go.”
-The Wonder Years

Ta-DA!!!

So here is the first of a couple changes to "A Baby? Maybe...", my rocking new blog layout!! As I said below this is thanks to the wonderfully talented Blog Fairy - a.k.a Emily. She's been great to work with, especially since I wasn't particularly clear at communicating what I wanted. She must have been a mind reader because this is exactly what I was hoping!

What do you think?

“It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things.”
-Donald Miller

So Close...

Again, I've slacked off of blogging for the last month, but it it has been in anticipation of my exciting new blog layout...which is so close to being launched. Hurrah! I love how it looks so far, I've been working with Emily at The Blog Fairy and she has been incredibly amazing. I highly recommend her if you're interested in a new look and making your blog look fab!

So, with that being said, stay turned dear readers, as I'm hoping to set up my very first Giveaway to go along with my new look. Lastly, with this new look with also will come more blogging. Really! I know, I know, I've said it before, but with this new looking I'm going to try to commit myself to 2-3 posts per week. It's gonna be big people!

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."
-Lao Tzu

Floored...

I always assume there are around 100 or so readers who have happened upon my blog over the past year or so and like to read it once in awhile...Imagine my surprise when I was looking at my own Google Reader recommendations today to find that my blog has over 1100 subscribers through Google Reader.

Oh.My.Goodness.

Hells Bells, I honestly don't think my blogging is all that interesting, especially as of lately, but this is just the slap on the ass that I need to get my blogging in gear. So I'll share a bit more about the status of my "changes". The changes that I've mentioned are that I'm going to be migrating this blog to www.ababymaybe.com. That's right, A Baby? Maybe... is going big time and getting its own self-hosted domain through Worpress.org, only problem is that setting it up as proved to be way more difficult that I had originally thought.

Every layout I try looks like absolute crap, I hate the headers, I hate it all. Not to mention all those wonderful suggestions people gave me for new headers are practically moot because most people design for the way-easier-to-set-up blogger and not for Worpress, and if they do you still have to fingure out all this html jargon to post it to you blog after they've created it for you. And also, not only do I need a new header, but a complete new, Wordpress friendly layout. I think I'm going to have to pay someone to do the entire thing because I've been working on it for a week now and its still junk... if you head over to the new website you'll see how janky it is looking right now. Don't worry, it isn't going to stay in that ridiculous format, with that silly, random picture (though pretty appropriate for the coming fall season, not-so-appropriate for my baby/kid blogging, right?), but I just need HELP!

Anyways, so stay with me folks (all 1100+ of you) while I navigate this crazy migration... I promise I'm almost to the point where I will have some semi-relevant, often funny, sometimes embarrassing and genuinely interesting things to say again. I PROMISE!

On another note, Rob and I went out and bought our Christmas present to one another last week...just a little early. We bought a brand, spanking new camera. HURRAH! We've been saving up for it for quite awhile now and decided to jump in and buy it last weekend after Rob had been making some not-so subtle comments about getting the camera sooner rather than later. That made me agree was that he dangled the fact that we could take AWESOME and AMAZING pictures of Lucy at the pumpkin patch in October and BOOM! I was sold. I'm obsessed with the fall season and the thought of using this fabulous new camera to document Lucy's first pumpkin patch visit was just too tempting. He knows my weaknesses too well. I broke down and we are now the new owners of a Canon EOS 50D camera. We took, oh, about 200+ pictures of Lucy in the past week alone. The only downside? We totally fight over who gets to use it. Even though he trains in jujitsu, I'm surprisingly wily and agile, so I think I can take him and get it from him most of the time. Although one might want to be careful wrestling over this amazing piece of electronic equipment. Here is just a tiny sampling (by tiny I mean here is a whole bunch) of Lucy's photo shoots from the past week:

"Does your mother realize
The stork delivered quite a prize
The day he left you on the family tree?
Does your dad appreciate
That you're merely supergreat
The miracle of any century?
If they don't just send them both to me."
-Bing Crosby "You Must Have Been A Beautiful Baby"

Change is Coming...

So... as I've been mulling over making some big changes in my life I decided to start small with my blog and have decided to migrate my blog to a new website. It will be all brand spanking new and awesome (hopefully). I'm hoping to get my new site up and running within the week (hopefully). Does anyone out there want to design me a header or can recommend someone who will make me a fab one?

“There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction”
Winston Churchill