Happy Half Birthday to Lucy!

It's been almost a month since I've last posted. My lack of sleep, 3 week long cold/flu and general business are the reason, but I hate that blogging is one of the first things to drop off. I truly do enjoy it!

I just thought I'd post a quick post today to say Happy Half Birthday Lucy (a day late)!! She is the most wonderful, adorable, amazing baby ever (at least in my mind) and we just love her to pieces.

I will start up blogging again now that it seems that Lucy is (knock on wood, knock on wood, knock on wood) sleeping through the night AND pretty much going to sleep on her own (with my own form on sleep training, screw the experts! ha!) and also it seems that I've beat this flu/blocked duct that I've been fighting for the past month. So I'm raring to go!

Here is our darling Lucy:








ps. Congrats to my old friend Jamie@http://baldwinhouse.blogspot.com/ on her and David's new addition of the lovely Amelia Ruth yesterday and to Rob's cousin Cadie and her and her husband's new addition of Saharah Rose on Wednesday! Babies, babies everywhere!

“A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.”

-Carl Sandburg

On A Lighter Note...Real Food!

We introduced Lucy to solid foods yesterday! She's been chomping at the bit every time we eat, trying to grab our food and our cups that we decided that at almost 5 1/2 months we would try her on solids.

We started with Earth's Best Organic Rice Cereal. According to the box you mix one tablespoonful of cereal with 3-4 tablespoonfuls of breast milk. Yum! Actually it didn't look appetizing at all, but hey, she doesn't know the difference, right? She made the funniest faces when we gave it to her. She looked so excited for the spoon and opened her mouth right up only to look so confused when it actually got in her mouth. So funny! I'm thinking one tablespoonful actually made it into her little tummy, the rest was one her face, on her bib and then went down the sink as she lost interest about 5 minutes in. Regardless, it is pretty exciting. Rob is already planning all the gourmet baby foods he will be making her. We have all sorts of fruits and veggies that we grow in our yard just waiting to be turned into baby food for Lucy. Next week we're hoping to start bananas as Trader Joe's sells their organic bananas for super cheap!



Lucy attempting to drink Daddy's beer last weekend (I repeat "attempting", we DID NOT give her beer):





Lucy riding her pony aka our dog Harley (has nothing to do with food, its just funny):




Lucy and Mommy:






Lucy's first official "real food" feeding:

"I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food."

- Robert Orben

The Big Debate...

Working Mom vs/ Stay at Home Mom. Hot topic, right? At least it seems to be in the comments of my last post. I've been mulling over whether or not I should devote an entire blog entry to this subject and finally decided, after I had to keep responding in the comments that, yes, this deserves its own entry.

There are two very definite ends of the spectrum here and then a lot of gray area in between (Please Note before you go all crazy on me these are NOT directed to anyone in the comments of my last post).

Position #1: You Should Stay At Home With Your Children You Selfish B.

Some people believe that women should only have children if they are going to not work and devote 24 hours per day to raising their children. I mean, why else would you have children if you are basically going to be ignoring them and pursuing your own selfish career/life? Once you have children you should have absolutely nothing that is for yourself, whether it be a career, a pair of new designer jeans or a dinner out once or twice a month with your husband. If you are a person who cannot AFFORD to stay home, then you should have budgeted or waited to have children. It would take 10 years for you to be able to afford to stay home? Well, lots of people are having babies in their 40s nowadays...why can't you? No matter what the financial situation, if you WANT it enough, you can make it happen by simply moving from your home to an apartment, cutting out any and all expenditures (date night? what is date night?) and so on and so forth.

Let's take a trip waaaay down to the other end of the spectrum.

Position #2: Stay At Home Moms are Lazy and Eat Bon Bons All Day Long

People on the other side of the debate often think that SAHMs are just plain lazy and a throwback to our grandmother's day of the women raising the children, cleaning house and having dinner on the table when the husband gets home. Your days are spent lunching with other SAHMs, doing some light dusting and playing patty cake with their little ones. When the little ones nap, you probably watch Days of Our Lives while eating delicious bon bons. Their lives are in no way challenging or difficult, as they have so much spare time on their hands.

~~~

Neither of these ways of thinking are REMOTELY true and if you find yourself even marginally buying into either, well, you should be ashamed of yourself because both of those are the most ridiculous things I have ever written. Unfortunately, I know there are people out there that think that some or all of those little gems are true. They're what I like to call delusional or just plain judgemental (again, this is NOT directed to anyone who posted in the comments).

First of all, for the Working Moms out there. You go girls. You've got so many balls in the air it is ridiculous, yet you keep on juggling and making it work for your family. Some of you NEED to work. You need it to make ends meet. No amount of wanting or cost cutting will make it work. You just need that extra paycheck to live in the way that works for your family. Some of you WANT to work. You need the adult conversation, ::gasp::, and you enjoy talking to people who can actually piece together full sentences and people who don't usually drool on you. You may love your job. You may have worked long and hard to get to this place in your professional career and it probably is amazingly good for you both as a women and as a mother to be this professional person on top of being a mother, even though it is difficult. Just because you have children doesn't mean that is the only thing that defines you as a person. You are a better mother because that is not the only thing you are. Both of these types of women do NOT love their children any less than one who stays at home with them.

For you Stay At Home Moms out there. Damn girls, it is NOT easy. Before my maternity leave I thought of all these amazingly productive things that I would be doing as I would have ALL of this spare time. Paint the kitchen cabinets, learn how to use my sewing machine that I got for my birthday back in November, take up knitting again and catch up on my reading... Do you know how many of those thing that I did? None. Not one. Staying at home is just as exhausting as being at work. Being a mom is a full time job, for REAL. Incredibly enough these little people need attention 24 hours a day, yes really. No lunching with the ladies when you have a screaming toddler on your hands. I've tried cleaning the house on my days off...ahahaha, right. There is always cleaning to do, shopping to do, cooking to do, laundry to do, activities and doctors appointments to go to, and I'm assuming if you stay at home you are doing the all of it and then some. And you do NOT get paid in money but in the fact that you get to see every little detail of your child growing up. It's amazing. I'm fairly certain soap operas and bon bons do not factor into the equation but lucky for you little hugs, little snuggles and that quality time with your child(ren) most certainly do.

Being a working mom is not for everyone. Being a stay at home mom is not for everyone. You do what works for you and your family. No one else can or should judge your decision on what you need to do to make your life with your family work.

For myself. I'm going to lay it all out there. I wish I could stay home with Lucy, I truly do, HOWEVER... we own our (modest) home, we do not want to sell it to move into a duplex, condo or an apartment. We love our house and have put much time and effort into making it a home. We look forward to the summers Lucy will spend exploring our large yard and helping us plant our vegetable beds. Hopefully she will lean how to ride a bike in the safety of our quiet cul-de-sac and go trick-or-treating down our street. Also, the former realtor in my wants to scream when people say "you could sell your house and move into something less expensive so you could stay home". Have you looked at the downward spiral of home prices lately? With the depreciation of the housing market, closing costs and realtor fees we simply would not be any better off in somewhere smaller. As far as spending that is not necessities, we do go dinner out once in awhile, although when we do it is our "date night" which is something we need to reconnect as a couple. We have no credit card debt and a very small school loan. We own our cars free and clear. I cut coupons and shop at the inexpensive supermarket, instead of Whole Foods where I wish I could shop. I buy clothes at Marshalls and TJ Maxx, if at all. There are things we spend money on, but we save and plan way in advance for those and it is simply a part of our life that we enjoy, like traveling (with Lucy). That is something we are planning on doing as a family and are not willing to give up. We want her to explore and appreciate the world around her, its as simple as that.

My job affords me excellent pay, medical benefits, life insurance 401K and stock/bonuses that make us be able to have a decent savings account in case of emergency, a college account for Lucy, as well funds for our own retirement. I believe both of the latter are gifts that keep on giving for your children, the fact that they don't have to pay 100% for college themselves (by the time she goes college will approximately cost $300,000) and she won't have to worry own mom).

Quitting my job is not an option right now. End of story. In the end, I'm just not willing to quit and live paycheck to paycheck and give up the safety net that my job provides us with. Does that make me a bad mother, no. It makes me a smart mother. Right now if my husband lost his job we would be fine. He was out of work for the three months that I was on maternity leave, if I didn't have my job this would have been a complete disaster. Because I did have my job and had saved a hefty amount for my leave it was a blessing. Both Rob and myself got to spend that time with each other and with Lucy and it was incredible. It was the best.time.ever. So... my job, although it wears me out, is a blessing. We waited long enough for Lucy to come, so suggesting that we should have waited longer is ridiculous. I love my life the way it is, and although someday I do hope to stay home with her or work for myself, I'm happy where we are now, exhaustion and all.

Phew. That was a lot, but I really felt the need to get it all out there. I would love to stay at home with Lucy, and for the people that it does work for I envy you. In the end, as long as you love your children fiercely, and let them know this every single day, you are a good mother.

"The world is full of women blindsided by the unceasing demands of motherhood, still flabbergasted by how a job can be terrific and torturous."

-Anna Quindlen

"She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along." -Margaret Culkin Banning

"The phrase "working mother" is redundant."

-Jane Sellman

Funny Story...

I know, I know, I haven't been around lately. I did finish my Blogolympics, but it just fizzled out, I didn't, as my track coach used to yell at me, "finish strong". I'm so sorry, I just ran out of steam, which seems to be the story of my life lately. I'm just so darn exhausted these days. Between working and Lucy I have absolutely no spare time. I feel like the thing that always gets put aside is my blog, which is a bummer because I love blogging and I have all of these topics that I'm just dying to share, like how breastfeeding has gone for me and about how hard it was going back to work...

Today I will share just how tired and worn down I am with a story. Here's some background on the past couple of weeks, Lucy has been extra fussy during the day and waking up a lot at night. I think that she's teething, poor thing. So I haven't been getting a whole lot of sleep. Basically my weekday schedule goes as follows:

• Get up at 6 (earlier if Lucy is hungry earlier), feed Lucy.
• 6:30 Jump in shower and attempt to look halfway presentable. By presentable I mean hoping there is little to no spit-up on my work clothes...or worse, poop (it has happened folks, truly). On a good day my hair is soaking wet but at least has gel in it, I have a bit of makeup on that I may or may not have had to apply with Lucy on my lap to prevent a screaming fit and possibly my armpits shaved (my legs...not so much).
• Get Lucy ready and leave by 7:15.
• 7:30 Drop Lucy off at my Mom's house and feed her again depending on whether she ate early or not, hoping breastmilk doesn't drip down my shirt...if it did then drive to work with the heat on full blast to dry it. Thank God for extra strength deodorant.
• Fight traffic (past the Nike World Campus which happens to only be ONE LANE, WTF?)and be at work by 8:00 and work until 5:00.
• Drive through hellish 5:00 traffic to my Mom's to pick up Lucy.
• Feed her at my Mom's house and attempt to get out in a timely manner, my Mom always wants to chat and I want to go home!
• Get home at 6:30-7:00ish.
• Rob makes dinner, lately I've been in charge of soothing fussy Lucy who cannot STAND anyone else to hold her at night.
• We go upstairs at 8:00 pm, yes, when it is still light out for goodness sake. Lucy goes to bed and Rob and I watch TV (aka turn on the TV and pass out until one of us rouses the other to get ready for bed...or, we wake up in our clothes from the night before, this doesn't happen often but I am ashamed to say it HAS happened once or twice, yuck!).

Sounds awesome right? Well this schedule has been wearing me out for the past couple weeks and over the last couple days I've been feeling like I'm starting to get sick. On Thursday I had a super sore throat, headache and a fever (swine flu?) and Lucy picked that night to wake up EVERY.SINGLE.HALF.AN.HOUR.ALL.NIGHT.LONG. I'm not kidding. Friday morning I felt so sick that I thought I might pass out in the shower but had to go to work because there was a important project that I needed to finish first thing in the morning. I'm terrible about calling in sick too, I just never do it unless I'm on the verge of death (aka morning sickness + migraines last year when I was pregnant, and even then I only did it ONCE).

So Friday evening I'm feeling pretty horrible. We go to bed early and Lucy actually goes to sleep pretty easily, yay! Lucy must have woken up in the middle of the night because I vaguely remember holding her in bed and suddenly realizing I need to go to the bathroom. I whisper to Rob that he needs to take her to I can go. No response. I ask again...SNORE. I get out of bed and walk around to his side of the bed and HISS:

"ROB. Wake up and hold the baby dammit. I have to go to the bathroom."

Rob opens his eyes and looks at me like a crazy person and says.

"Babe, you don't have the baby."

Oh crap. I look down at my arms...yup, he's right, no baby. She's fast asleep in her room and has been all night long. I was either a.) hallucinating from being sick and lack of sleep b.) dreamt that I was holding her and was half asleep when I walked over to his side of the bed c.) am losing my damn mind.

Oh man. Being a working mom is TOUGH, and I only have one baby...how the heck do people keep this up? Any crazy stories from you dear readers? Can you top that?

“No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.”

-W.C. Fields

Kangaroo Korner Sling Review...

So I FULLY intend to answer the second half of my Q & A post, but today I thought I would do a quick baby item review today as it is beautiful and sunny outside and we are BBQ-ing Bratwursts on the grill as I speak.

Today's Item:

Kangaroo Korner Slings

http://www.kangarookorner.com/



"Our Adjustable Fleece Pouches are made with unique 200 weight Malden Mills polarfleece and can be used in most climates year-round. The snug and flexible fleece will hold your baby snug against your chest. This style of pouch is perfect to use with all ages - including premature babies, infants of all sizes and even your growing toddler! All Kangaroo Korner brand products are manufactured in Minnesota, sweat-shop free."

Man, how much do I love the fleece Kangaroo Korner sling? So much!! It was so convenient when she was tiny and so incredibly cosy being made of soft polarfleece. It kept her, and me, really warm and comfortable. I used it whenever we went out, to the store, to church to a restaurant...anywhere. I kept it in my car and instead of keeping her in her carseat when we went anywhere, I would just pop her in the sling. It was great, and still is!

Out of the several slings I have tried this was has been BY FAR the most comfortable on my back and shoulders and it is also adjustable so that I could adjust it as Lucy got bigger and I got smaller, it could even be adjusted for Rob to use it. I will say the worst sling that I tried was my Hotsling that I picked up on sale at Target for our trip to Florida, since I thought the fleece sling would be too warm. I hated that thing, it killed my shoulder and Lucy did not seem comfortable because it had no give whatsoever. I do love my Moby Wrap though, which will be another review for another day!

The only drawback is that the fleece is way too warm now that the temperatures here in Oregon are in the 70s-80s, which means I need to purchase one of their lighter, all-season adjustable slings. Right now all slings on the website are 25% off, so I better hurry up and order my next one. Love this product!

“God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.”

-Proverb Quote

NOTE: To clarify for Anonymous, I put her in the sling when we were walking around, like in the grocery story for example, instead of unhinging the entire carseat and bringing it into the store to put on the grocery cart or instead of putting her carseat into the stroller when we are walking around. I re-read that part and can see how it sounded strange. I would NEVER let her ride in the car without being safetly strapped into her car seat !! Thanks for pointing that out!

Q&A Part 1...

Thank you for all of your questions, I'll attempt to answer them all before Lucy gets tired of playing her in Exersaucer! Let's jump right in, shall we?

1. What do you envision for your daughter in the future? Dance, art, sports, music?
I'm pretty sure she's going to be either the first female president, Barack Obama's got nothing on her and I think that Rob and I would enjoy living at the White House, D.C. is supposed to be beautiful in the spring...just kidding!

Activity wise Rob and I are at having a bit of an argument about this. I say that I get the girls, he gets the boys. He disagrees and thinks that Lucy is going to be doing baby jujitsu wrestling (um, no). If it is up to me Lucy will be doing dance, most likely ballet (how adorable are little girls in tutus?), horseback riding and swimming...which is basically what I did as a child. Knowing karma and the way that life rolls, she'll probably want nothing to do with any of those things. It's just the way things go, right?

My mother law once told me that she went to a women's retreat where the speaker said that if you have a little girl the one thing to do to keep her out of trouble is to get her into horses. Once little girls are into horses, there is nothing else on their minds (boys will worm their way in eventually, but at least it delays this for awhile). I was a poster child for this, I was so into horses from the time I was 5 until I was 16, they were my whole world. Then high schools boys came into the picture around 16/17, but at least I wasn't a 12 year old dressing like a two bit hooker or Britney Spears (same thing basically).

Also, I would love Lucy to play an instrument, which is funny because I played piano for 10 years and it was the torture of my life when I was a kid. But now that I'm older I really appreciate those ten years and the fact that I can still play. I'd actually like to get back into playing. I have a piano but it won't fit in our tiny house, so once we move into a bigger house we'll get the piano and probably get Lucy lessons. How funny it is that the things that you promised you wouldn't make your child do is exactly what you end up wanting them to do?

2. I was curious - during the unexplained IF - did you ovulate normally, and see a lot of EWCM? What were your cycles like, if you don't mind me asking?

I did ovulate completely normally. Like clockwork on CD 15. I saw EWCM and we timed right right 98% of the time. I used ovulation predictors and the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor, which always gave me highs and positives. I got definite O cramps right before day 15. It was textbook ovulation. I had lots of tests, as did Rob, and nothing was ever diagnosed as being wrong. I guess we'll never know what the problem was, which is a little frustrating when I think about it and the prospect of trying for #2.

3. For my question, what types of cloth do you use? Do you have a favorite?

I adore the Bum Genius 3.0s. Hands down my favorite. Easy peasy to use and to keep clean.

4. Are you and Rob planning to have another baby any time soon? Will you have to go through the same things infertility wise that you did in order to conceive Lucy?

We are planning to have another...and maybe another and another. We're thinking 4 total (maybe more) and we definitely want to look into adoption, probably for our 3rd and 4th. We've talked about it and we'd like to start trying again when Lucy is 3 years old. That gives us time with her one-on-one (two-on-one?) before #2 comes along. If it is a boy his name will be Patrick Alan, after my dad and Rob's dad.

I'm not sure if we'll have to go through the same thing. As my doctor says, sometimes you can try for years with #1 and then the second pregnancy comes almost right away. We definitely won't need to wait as long this time around, my doctor told me that she can now order IUIs through the Reproductive Endocronologist's office that we went through. This means no need for a $500 consultation, so that is nice. We would probably try for several months on our own and then just get a referral from my OB/GYN to get an IUI if it we didn't get pregnant within a reasonable amount of time. Regardless of if it is easy or hard I don't think it will be anything like what we went through trying to get Lucy. For me, I there is a difference between having IF and secondary IF (this is purely my personal opinion, not trying to lessen the pain of secondary IF for anyone else). If we absolutely couldn't get pregnant with #2 it wouldn't be earth shattering because we ARE parents and we have our Lucy not to mention that adoption is definitely an option for us.

5. Are you changing diapers more frequently than you were with disposables?

No way. You have to keep in mind though that we were using disposables when Lucy was a newborn, which meant a new diaper at LEAST every 2 hours. Now we usually check her diaper when we feed her or when we hear the crazy, explosions that come out of such a tiny thing! In the beginning I felt like it was a never ending diapering extravaganza, so it definitely felt more frequent. Plus, the cloth wicks away wetness very well, sometimes its hard to tell if she's even wet and now she only poops 1-2 times per day, as opposed to about 12 times per day like when she was a newborn (fun!).

6. Where do you come up with your quotes?

Ha ha, I get this question so much. I usually just google whatever topic I was talking about like "baby quotes" or "motherhood quotes". http://www.thinkexist.com/ is one I use the most frequently. I'm afraid I'm going to run out of them eventually!

7. Now that your a mom - what are you best at multitasking? Meaning what is the most you have done at one time while holding the baby?

Blogging while holding Lucy is a frequent one! As in she sits on my lap while I type with one hand, it makes for slow blogging for sure. The other day I put my makeup on while she sat on my lap. Ever tried to put makeup on one-handed? I definitely do not recommend it, not to mention she really wanted to put my brushes into her mouth. The other day I strapped her into her Moby Wrap and made dinner, did the dishes, swept the floor and did a load of laundry all with her strapped to me and she didn't make a peep once! One multitasking that I don't recommend is driving while attempting to reach over the back of the seat and stick the paci in her mouth. I really need to not do this, but the only other option is a screaming baby. I try to only do this at red lights. Kids, don't try this at home.

Ok, well this is about half of the questions and Lucy is DONE with the Exesaucer, done as is screaming at the cow while smacking at the poor horse and gnawing at the lamb's head, so I think we're done for now. I'll try to get to the second half of the questions later this evening when she's (hopefully) gone down for a nap.

“There are four questions of value in life... What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.”

-Movie - Don Juan deMarco (1995)

Short Post...

...because today has been beautiful and we've been at the Farmer's Market, Home Depot, out in the yard and then down for a nap (both Lucy AND myself) and now I've gotta get myself spruced up for (drum roll please) ...DATE NIGHT! Rob and I are going to go to dinner at one of our favorite Greek restaurants and then off to see Star Trek or Angels & Demons. I'm excited to spend time with Rob as a couple instead of as mommy-daddy, but is is weird that I hate to leave Lucy for that long...a whole 4-5 hours? She'll be here at home with my mom, who has had Lucy withdrawals this week while I've been home, so I know she'll be fine, but still... I'll miss her. How ridiculous am I?

I'm working on the Q&A post, though it's taking me longer than I thought since I'm trying to thoroughly answer every one's questions. I'm hoping to post it tomorrow afternoon. Hope everyone is having a lovely Saturday, how are you spending yours?

“It's the national addiction: warmth on chilly winter nights, innocence on Saturday afternoons, the essence of hearth, home and blissful abandon.”

-Patricia Linden