I need the break but I just cannot do it! My CBEFM was calling my name on CD 7. "C'mon, you know you want to do it. Just pee on the stick... you've got like 20 of them. Just do it. Everyone else is doing it. C'mon, turn me on baby. I promise I'll give you a high. " Apparently my CBEFM is a man with a low, sexy voice too... it is a bit disturbing when it talks dirty to me. I think I shall name him Hank.
I have no willpower and I did it. I peed on the stick. I'm like an addict. Hank did not lie... he gave me a high on CD 7 and by CD 9 I had my peak! What?! That is crazy early for my O date! I'm so ok with this early Oing. I had AF and then a couple days later wham, bam I'm in the two week wait already. Thank you Hank!
I also had a follow-up doctors appointment with my regular doctor yesterday. I told her about what Dr. DD said and she was more professional that I had hoped. Ok, being perfectly professional and telling me that "All doctors have different ideas on treatment, IF is a very varied field in medicine. Yada yada yada" is great and all but deep down I'm hoping she smacks a bitch after I left the office and that she was purely putting on a professional demeanor for show.
We have a new treatment plan. Next week I go in for an ultrasound to see if anything jumps out at her as being wrong in the ole uterus, tubes and ovaries. This will at least confirm whether my ovaries were hyperstimulated with the Clomid last cycle, which is a question I definitely wanted answered. After that I schedule the dreaded HSG. I'm thinking that shooting dye up one's nether regions isn't exactly going to be a fun time, but you do what you have to do right? I'm not going to lie. Not to mention I'm totally dreading it and the several hundred dollars I'm going to have to pay to have this fun little procedure done. Wheee! I also have to decide whether I want to schedule it for January because really a HSG is not exactly what was on my Christmas list. :: humming :: "All I want for Christmas is an HSG, and HSG and HSG..." to the tune of All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth.
Anyways, my ultrasound is next Wednesday at 8:45 in the morning. Compared to the looming possibility of the HSG it should be a piece of cake, but I just cannot stop thinking about the fact that I'm going in the get an ultrasound... not to hear or see a baby. I always thought my first ultrasound would be an incredible, exciting experience where Rob and I would hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time. It is a little hard thinking that I'll be having it just to see if there is anything obviously wrong with me. It is a good thing, I know this! It is just a hard realization that I'm not having an ultrasound to see a baby.
Anyways, wish me luck!
"Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are."
-Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha