There is a silver lining to every cloud. We could have got married and tried to get pregnant right away, maybe we could have became pregnant the first cycle of trying. If we had done this, we would have missed out on times that we would never in a million years been able to do as parents. Even with all of this trouble TTC, the time we spent together was well worth waiting to become parents. Here is our Top 5...
5. Remodeled our home.
We bought our home as a foreclosure the month before we were married. It was wrecked. We gave it a good clean and settled in with big plans for remodeling. 3 years later we finally have 3/4 of the things done that we had originally planned. It has taken us this long, with lots of work and money, we have our little home almost perfect. If we had a baby, we would never had been able to afford or had the time for the remodel, I can't imagine ripping up the old floors and painting the walls with a baby toddling around. I feel better knowing my baby will be crawling on new, clean carpet and will be spilling on easy to clean bamboo floors rather than the old carpets that the previous owner's dog had peed on a million times. It never felt clean enough!
4. Changed jobs a million times
Rob was finishing up culinary school when we got married. He tried being a chef but luckily we found out two years into that profession that it was not the job for someone who wanted a family...or a life. I cannot imagine sitting at home alone every night with a baby. It is not how I would have envisioned our babies first years. I too jumped around on the job front. I started taking my Sommelier Certification. A luxury that I would not have had if I had a baby to consider. I was a marketing associate, a real estate assistant, a hostess in Las Vegas, a wine club coordinator for a vineyard and a Realtor in three short years.
3. Lived (temporarily) in Las Vegas
When Rob was done with culinary school he had the opportunity to take a paid internship at the Bellagio Casino in Las Vegas. It was two months long. We packed up the car and drove the 19 hours down to Las Vegas. We lived there for two months, sharing a twin mattress on the floor of an extra room in my friend's house with black sheets over the windows to keep the heat out. Poor Rob put up with living with me and three wild college girls who liked to get drunk and run around the house half naked. We had a blast. We worked on the strip, him at the Bellagio and I at Cili Golf Course, saw some shows, enjoyed the nightlife, gambled, had delicious Las Vegas meals, I got a fantastic tan thanks to the Bellagio pool and Rob worked his butt off but got some great experience there. I would never live in Las Vegas permanently, but the two months we spent there was a total blast.
2. Took our dream vacation
Since Rob was in school and I was working when we got married we took a quick weekend Vegas honeymoon and started planning our actual honeymoon for the next summer when Rob had graduated from school. 10 days after we got back from living in Las Vegas we were on a plane to Rome. We visited the Colliseum and the Vatian in Rome, enjoyed the amazing beaches of Positano and Capri, took a cooking class in Tuscany, visited the market in Sienna, damaged the rental car in Cinque Terre, bought fabulous leather in Florence. We flew to Greece and spent the weekend in Athens and headed to Crete where we attempted to decipher the Greek street signs, we bought olive oil and honey on the side of the road, drank wine that we couldn't even pronounce the name of in Chania, and traveled to the other side of the Island just to see a beach. We held an octopus and snorkeled around a wreck of a World War II fighter plane. We flew into Brussles and bought chocolate, took the Eurostar through France to London. We took the hop on hop off double-decker bus tours around London, went to pubs with my cousins, saw preserved castles in London and hiked ruins in Wales, spent time with my family in Hull, Chester, Cheshire and York It was the most amazing trip ever. I'm so thankful we were able to take the trip of a lifetime so young. It was truly a once in a lifetime vacation.
1. Got to know one another, really
We were married just over a year after we met one another. Although I knew Rob was "the one" from the beginning and still do even more so to this day, I'm so glad we had these last three years to really get to know one another. To sort out all the little kinks that would have been so much bigger and scarier if we had added a baby to the mix early. We had time to enjoy just each other as a couple, do what we wanted to do, go where we wanted to go. All of this made us stronger for what we are going through now. I know that he will hold me up when I get down about this T-TTC, he knows that I will go through medical procedures that terrify me until we have exhausted our options. I know that he is always there to tell me it will be ok, even if it won't. Together I know it will all be worth it in the end, regardless of the outcome, because this has brought us even closer together.
"I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down
If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth itWorth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright."
-"Answer" by Sarah Mclachlan