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New "Gifts"
1. Emo Bev. First of all, I'm actually not quite hip or young enough to actually know what emo means, but I think it has something to do with being emotional. My niece talks about how people are emo when they are particularly sensitive, and since that is me to a tee right now, I'm going to go with it. Now we're not just talking a little bit... we're talking all out cobbing, crying jaunts at the silliest things on earth.
Case in point: church on Sunday. At the end of church there is communion, and people are welcome to go up to the from as they please, but there's usually about three songs and then they're done. So Rob and I are standing there and one song goes by, two songs, then we're halfway through the third and he hasn't even made a move to go to the front. So I say to him, "Do you want to go up now?" He replied "Do you?" Wrong answer. All I wanted to hear was "yes" or "no", so of course I threw an absolute FIT in the car because I didn't understand why he would ask me that!!? WHY would I ask him if he wanted to go up if I didn't want to, why could he not just say yes or no, why could he not just make the first move to go up there, why do I have to make EVERY SINGLE FRIGGIN DECISION UNDER THE FREAKING SUN!!!! Then, as I'm driving down the road I totally lose it. I mean tears streaming down my face. OVER THIS! Irrational much? Poor, poor Rob is looking at my like I've grown a third head. He doesn't know what to do with this crazy person, I've always been a little bit crazy (refer to crazy Clomid Bev entries), but this is bordering on insane. I felt completely stupid but I just couldn't stop. Especially when the waterworks started, they just kept going and going. It was a rough day Sunday. I also broke down again because I was so tired I didn't know how I was going to do the laundry and clean the house. So I sat on the couch and sobbed "Thhe...ho-ou-ou-se...issss...so-uh-uh...diiiirtyeeee" ::sniffle sob sniffle sob:: I have turned into a crazy ball of hormonal mess!
2. Falling asleep at work. I find myself so tired that I start thinking, "Hmmm, I bet I could just close my eyes really quickly and no one will notice. Go ahead, just lay your head down right there next to the computer monitor. Just for a minute." So tempting!
3. Hello nipples! Now this part is probably way TMI but I've always had very nice, small, light pink nipples, they're pretty good looking if I do say so myself. Now? Welcome ugly tan colored nipples. And they look bigger...way bigger! Damn it! The boobs are supposed to get bigger, not the nipples! Who wants nipples the size of tea saucers if the actual boobs are only the side of, say, salad plates? Ridiculous! I'm sure this is way more information that some of you want to know, especially those that know me personally (sorry Linds and Meg!) but I have to keep it real, you know?
So that is it for now. My new pregnancy gifts that I am gladly accepting-- tears, tiredness, big brown nipples and all.
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present. "
-Babatunde Olatunji
30 comments:
Bev!!!! You are me!!!! I haven't been quite as emotional, I'm just very snippy at everything, no tears yet (crossing fingers!) but the work thing made me laugh.....I fell asleep twice today at work, last week 4 times! I kept saying to myself "I'll just move my chair this way, keep this program up on my monitor, keep these papers in front of me....nobody will know, just for like 30 seconds, thats all" I had to get up and take a walk outside for a bit..no matter how much sleep I get I'm exhausted at about 10am! Hello ugly brown tan BIG nipples....aren't they just disgusting????!!?? My BB's are much bigger already, very heavy and swollen, but hi, the nipples, GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (mine hurt pretty bad too, thank goodness for shelf bra tanks I can wear to bed...I've never been more excited to wear a bra for support than I am now!) Hang in there, Baby M is still sticking like glue! :)
aw, i miss that feeling when you're on that emotional rollercoatser from the hormones. hopefully soon, i'llbe back on that ride...
Hi - I took your quote for my blog. It is very nice, and I really appreciate the positive feeling from it. Good luck and happy pregnancy! I miss those new early feelings were your body is just ALIVE! enjoy it!
Hi Bev-
Congrats!! I have followed you from time to time via the nest and have been caught up with other things and had not been on the nest for quite a while so I thought I would search you out to read your blog and I am so excited for you.
You are on to a new worry, getting through that first trimester, then your worry will change again and again. I am told it is like this for the next 18 years.
I am a new mom, my baby boy is almost 8 weeks old. He was born at 27 weeks due to severe pre-e. I have struggled through his days at the NICU and have been on the biggest roller coaster ride. I actually thought of you the other day and you (and all the "yous" out there - those struggling with IF) gave me strength. I had a terrible time leaving him in the NICU and had a chat with myself on the way home in between sobs and my pity party. In you (and your kind), I found strength. I thought, I have to leave him but at least I have him... I then said a quick prayer for you (and your kind - I sooo do not mean that to be offensive) You have no idea the lives you have touched with your blog and it is not always with IF or TTTC. I wish you a wonderful pregnancy. I hope your gifts keep up cause the more you have the more pregnant you will feel. Have fun, enjoy your husband and your little one. Thanks for sharing your story with us!
hey there! no worries about my blog these days. i was SO excited for you when i gread your news that it completely erased anything i may have been feeling in my life. that's the truth! as corny as it sounds, as long as other people get to have happiness and joy, i am okay with what i have right now!
Just wanted to give you some reassurance. You are absolutely normal! Even the nipple thing. Trust me, your boobs will catch up in a few months! =D
I can't wait to feel all of that again!
Bev, I just decided to check your blog, I haven't checked it in awhile. I don't have words to describe how happy I am for you! I think about you often, hoping that next time I open up your blog, I will find that good news. This time I did. I can't imagine how you feel right now. A million congrats to you and enjoy every symptom, good and bad!
-GHM
My first trimester was def my worst as far as moodiness. I was an absolute witch. The worst part is we had different people coming out to visit us, and at least they each knew already that we were pregnant, so they knew why I was being so crabby, but I still felt bad b/c I snapped at so many people for no good reason.
As for the nipples... if it helps at all, I actually felt a bit left out when I'd look at breastfeeding videos and the women would always have these huge pancake-sized areolas, and mine are just barely wider than my actual nipples. Wierd? probably. But it almost made me wonder if DS was having trouble latching because of my small nipples/areolas.
Just wait, the nipples get even bigger and grosser. Think "National Geographic Tribe Looking" At least thats how my husband described them.
I had wondered about what to call symptoms now, gifts is a good idea! Even when it doesn't feel lkie it, that could help put a positive spin on things!
I think "gifts" is a great way of thinking about these myriad surprises that come with pregnancy! Rest assured you are not alone with your gifts so far: I've cried rivers over cats that won't cuddle, housework, not wanting to go to bed... Also started a few pretty out-there fights... And the tiredness! But it really is all for a great cause, so thanks for reminding me to treasure the whole process.
I noticed your poll is closed now, but i just wanted to add that i totally think you are having twins, especially after reading you last entry! Enjoy your gifts!
:) The gifts get better. Just wait for the 3am "Oh my god I have to eat something or I'm going to die" feeling that wakes you up out of a dead sleep. He he he...just wait till your bellybutton disappears. :) THAT freaked me out to tears.
I just have to add, I told my mom on Mother's Day! She lives a couple states away from me and I sent her a "present"... one of which was a t-shirt that said, I'm going to be a grandma. and the other was a framed pic of our ultrasound. I told her she had to call me before opening it..and when she did, she screamed! It's so exciting!
Hi, you don't know me, but you are on Emily Newton's list of blogs she likes to read so you must know her somehow and I know Emily. Anyway CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I cannot even begin to imagine what you have been through but am so excited for you! I myself have a 2 year old son and am about to start trying for #2. My sister has a son as well, but get pregnant with him as a fluke. She is now unable to get pregnant again. She has been back and forth with using clomid and has decided that right now it is not the right time for her, but reading some of your old blog posts shows me that you have been through A LOT and even though I don't know you (at all)I am sharing in your joy and can't help but tear up when reading about your journey and now again tear up when I read that you are finally living your dream. Good Luck and enjoy the ride!
I am SO excited for you! I remember my first trimester well, and I like you welcomed all of my symptoms. In my mind it meant everything was going well! YEA!!! Your going to have a BABY!!!!
lol- i'm glad you are accepting your gifts and loving them- well ya know loving them in a positive way!
:0) congrats again! can't wait to see what other gifts you get!
Well at least you have an excuse to be "emo" ... I, on the other hand, get stupid crying and bitching and in a bad mood for no reason and I take it out on my poor husband, the poor thing I feel so bad for him, I can't believe he has put up with me as long as he has... but I get so stupid that it even bothers me, and I can even stand myself!!!
I had to laugh about your nipple comment. My BFF is due in August, and her biggest complaint during the first trimester was how big her nipples were getting, and that they were brown. You're not alone!
Congrats! It's been some time since I had read your blog (obviously) and I am so glad to see you are pregnant. Of course, selfishly, it gave me hope for myself. I just want to wish you the best pregnancy with a healthy and happy baby.
Thanks for sharing.
I just wanted to say congratulations. I found your blog on thenest and have been reading it for some time now. I don't even know you and I am thrilled you are pregnant. We have been trying for 10 cycles. I love reading your blog! Congrats again!
MandaGail
Love the nipple commentary--hilarious! I'm enjoying reading every week and wishing you both the best of luck in this journey!
I just wanted to leave a comment about your house and how you were too tired to clean. I'm 19 weeks pregnant now, and if there's one thing I've learned, I just can't do it all. I stopped cleaning, I stopped doing dishes, I stopped it all b/c I just couldn't do it anymore. My husband had to pick up the slack, and when it became too much for him, we hired a cleaning service. It's just temporary, and it's so worth it. Try to realize now that you can't do it all, and that's perfectly ok. :)
Hey there !
This is a very interesting blog, and we havent read everything, we put it in our bookmarks already
Cheers
Any Updates?
Happy Mother's Day Bev! :)
Happy Mothers Day! :o)
Bev -- I found your blog through "Baby Twiglet" and I've followed your journey for the past few months. CONGRATS!!! When I read that you were (are) pregnant, I was in tears, I'm so happy for you! Even though we've never met, you seem like a really nice person and I'm sure you're going to be a fantsadtic mom! Congrats again! :)
Happy Mother's Day, you mom-to-be, you!!
Happy Mother's Day, you mom-to-be, you!!
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