Saturday, May 30, 2009

Funny Story...

I know, I know, I haven't been around lately. I did finish my Blogolympics, but it just fizzled out, I didn't, as my track coach used to yell at me, "finish strong". I'm so sorry, I just ran out of steam, which seems to be the story of my life lately. I'm just so darn exhausted these days. Between working and Lucy I have absolutely no spare time. I feel like the thing that always gets put aside is my blog, which is a bummer because I love blogging and I have all of these topics that I'm just dying to share, like how breastfeeding has gone for me and about how hard it was going back to work...

Today I will share just how tired and worn down I am with a story. Here's some background on the past couple of weeks, Lucy has been extra fussy during the day and waking up a lot at night. I think that she's teething, poor thing. So I haven't been getting a whole lot of sleep. Basically my weekday schedule goes as follows:
  • Get up at 6 (earlier if Lucy is hungry earlier), feed Lucy.
  • 6:30 Jump in shower and attempt to look halfway presentable. By presentable I mean hoping there is little to no spit-up on my work clothes...or worse, poop (it has happened folks, truly). On a good day my hair is soaking wet but at least has gel in it, I have a bit of makeup on that I may or may not have had to apply with Lucy on my lap to prevent a screaming fit and possibly my armpits shaved (my legs...not so much).
  • Get Lucy ready and leave by 7:15.
  • 7:30 Drop Lucy off at my Mom's house and feed her again depending on whether she ate early or not, hoping breastmilk doesn't drip down my shirt...if it did then drive to work with the heat on full blast to dry it. Thank God for extra strength deodorant.
  • Fight traffic (past the Nike World Campus which happens to only be ONE LANE, WTF?)and be at work by 8:00 and work until 5:00.
  • Drive through hellish 5:00 traffic to my Mom's to pick up Lucy.
  • Feed her at my Mom's house and attempt to get out in a timely manner, my Mom always wants to chat and I want to go home!
  • Get home at 6:30-7:00ish.
  • Rob makes dinner, lately I've been in charge of soothing fussy Lucy who cannot STAND anyone else to hold her at night.
  • We go upstairs at 8:00 pm, yes, when it is still light out for goodness sake. Lucy goes to bed and Rob and I watch TV (aka turn on the TV and pass out until one of us rouses the other to get ready for bed...or, we wake up in our clothes from the night before, this doesn't happen often but I am ashamed to say it HAS happened once or twice, yuck!).

Sounds awesome right? Well this schedule has been wearing me out for the past couple weeks and over the last couple days I've been feeling like I'm starting to get sick. On Thursday I had a super sore throat, headache and a fever (swine flu?) and Lucy picked that night to wake up EVERY.SINGLE.HALF.AN.HOUR.ALL.NIGHT.LONG. I'm not kidding. Friday morning I felt so sick that I thought I might pass out in the shower but had to go to work because there was a important project that I needed to finish first thing in the morning. I'm terrible about calling in sick too, I just never do it unless I'm on the verge of death (aka morning sickness + migraines last year when I was pregnant, and even then I only did it ONCE).

So Friday evening I'm feeling pretty horrible. We go to bed early and Lucy actually goes to sleep pretty easily, yay! Lucy must have woken up in the middle of the night because I vaguely remember holding her in bed and suddenly realizing I need to go to the bathroom. I whisper to Rob that he needs to take her to I can go. No response. I ask again...SNORE. I get out of bed and walk around to his side of the bed and HISS:

"ROB. Wake up and hold the baby dammit. I have to go to the bathroom."

Rob opens his eyes and looks at me like a crazy person and says.

"Babe, you don't have the baby."

Oh crap. I look down at my arms...yup, he's right, no baby. She's fast asleep in her room and has been all night long. I was either a.) hallucinating from being sick and lack of sleep b.) dreamt that I was holding her and was half asleep when I walked over to his side of the bed c.) am losing my damn mind.

Oh man. Being a working mom is TOUGH, and I only have one baby...how the heck do people keep this up? Any crazy stories from you dear readers? Can you top that?

“No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.”

-W.C. Fields

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's sad when people have a baby then leave all day to work. My hubby and I have made adjustments so I can stay home with our 3 children. I couldn't imagine leaving them all day. As far as finances, it can be done. You just have to want to make it work.

Jenn said...

Oh man, that is funny. Well, it's a funny story, not funny that you are SO tired. I honestly don't know how you working mom's do it. I hope you get some sleep this weekend!

Carlie said...

That is so funny! I used to be breastfeeding my son in the middle of the night and fall asleep 1/2 way through and drop him onto my lap! Of course waking him and myself up and being so completely tired I just couldn't care less! It happens when you don't get enough sleep. You were blessed to have a baby that slept very good from the start, now you are feeling what most of us feel from the beginning (I am pregnant with my 3rd)! LOL. Good luck and hopefully baby lucy will teeth quickly and go back to sleeping through the night!

Nic said...

That story made me chuckle! Sorry you are having such a tiring time

mummyof5monsters said...

ha- i do this all the time - 'oh my god wheres Luka?' oh hes in my arms and im feeding him! Comes from 7 years with no full nights sleep!!

The Crivella Family said...

That happened to us one night with our first baby. I must have been dreaming that he was sleeping with us in bed and all of a sudden I couldn't find him. I yelled out "where is the baby!" While throwing the covers off of me. Had the baby actually been in bed with us I would have thrown himm off the bed pretty hard. As me and DH frantically looked for him, I then realized that I had put him back in his crib and there he was sleeping, but DH and I both were having the same "dream" because he was wondering the same thing as me at the same time, it was really weird, and funny!
It is much easier with the second one, I am not as sleep deprived as I was the first time. We go to bed at 8 o'clock and have little us time, but we know that it will soon come back to us and she will sleep through the night soon and we can watch TV together and hang out like we used to, but right now sleep is more important!

Bev said...

Actually, for us, finanacially it cannot be done. I would LOVE to stay home with Lucy but unfortunately, I make more money along with the medical insurance, dental, 401K and job stability that my husband does not have in his job, not to mention other extinuating circumstances that makes it impossible.

Hopefully at some point that may change... but it is not possible for everyone, no matter how badly they may want it. Everyone's situation is different and honestly I think it is a little insenstivie to assume that if you "want" something it could be done regardless of the circumstances.

Emily Ripper said...

LOL @ Ms. Annonymous saying it can be done.....I'd like to see she and her husband pull that off living right outside of NYC :) You're an awesome Mom Bev, and I'm sorry that you're having some up's and down's with Lucy lately....after a whole day of work, it makes seeing that baby girl that much more special don't you think? My heart melts when I get home and get to see Abigail and she's all smiles when I say hi to her. Nothing like that feeling :) Us working Mom's need a raise just for working and having a baby at the same time! We're super mom's! And yes, your post cracked me up...had to read it to Chad and he laughed too. Hope the teething/fussy episodes don't last long!

Emily said...

I also had a few confused "thought I had the baby" but I was sleeping moments. When I was in the hospital right after he was born I had several full on halucinations. I would be completely awake and I would see the baby crawl across the floor or hear my husband yelling for me from the bathroom (when he was asleep in the bed beside me) or I would see my mom sitting in the rocker holding the baby but she had gone home for the night. This wasn't my imagination running wild, at the time it was terrifying. In retrospect it was probably sleep deprivation and the stress of my birth experience.

Anonymous said...

That's a busy day! is it at all possible to ask your mom to bring lucy home to your house once in a while just to get a little less commute time and a little more quality home time?

i understand your mom is doing a wonderful thing helping with child care, so it makes sense if you don't want to inconvenience her. it's just a thought. GOOD LUCK, MOMMA!

Sarah said...

You know, not that this is the topic of your post, or my response, in whole, but I would like to go on record as stating that I NEEDED to go back to work. I needed to have some time away from my baby. It made me a better person, a better woman, and a better mother. It had little to do with $ at the time, and everything to do with sanity. And *gasp* I only breastfed her until she weened herself at 9 months! And *cringe* she was delivered via c-section! And *recoil* I sometimes bought baby food instead of making it myself! Forgive me, dear mothers, for I clearly suck.

Ahem, I digress. So...we went through the same sort of sleeping thing with our (clearly neglected) baby at the same exact age. All I can say is that 4 months was a magical transformation for us. I don't know who wore whom down, but she started sleeping better, had happier days, her "witching hour" went away. 4 months...you are so close to there!!!

Heather said...

wow, you poor, poor woman! I've always felt like working mom's should get some kind of award or something. I'm a SAHM and I don't even know how the house gets clean or dinner gets cooked...and my little one still takes two naps a day (at 15 months old)! There should be a second mother's day for you guys, seriously! Lucy is right around the age that my little one was when we finally put her in the crib. I don't know if Lucy sleeps in her crib or not, but once we got our daughter to sleep in the crib her feedings during the night went down to two...then one...then none at around five or six months. Not much longer and you should be getting some solid sleep and it will make all the difference...hang in there Mommy!

Bev said...

I do have to say, I don't have it that bad, being a working mom and all. Rob and I pretty much devote our entire weekends to spending time with Lucy, (although we do have date nights every two weeks or so, sometimes even two Saturday nights in a row!) and we usually eat dinner super fast so that we can have some playtime/ snuggle time before bed and before we poop out.

Also, I do want to say that when I came back to work I only came back 4 days per week (and I'm hoping to keep this schedule up as long as I can). This does mean that I need to get dome in 4 days what I normally would get done in 5, but I'm willing to work extra hard on the days I am at work so that I can take off the entire day on Wednesdays for Lucy and Mommy time.

Lastly, I don't know how other working mothers do it because my mom helps me out like you wouldn't believe. She washes Lucy's diapers and laundry for me while I'm at work and always is there to babysit for our date nights (sometimes she's the one insisting on us going out). It's amazing! She even started a daycare when she found out I was pregnant because she was NOT having Lucy be with anyone else (which is why I can't ask her to drop Lucy off, although she would in a minute if she could).

I clean my house on Wednesdays when Lucy is napping, and do all the laundry as well. Rob cooks dinner every night.

So that is how we get things done. Exhausting, but...it is the best we can do.

I would love to stay home, but I simply can't. I wouldn't have even been able to HAVE Lucy if it wasn't for this job and its incredible medical benefits so it is a blessing really, easpecially in these hard economic times.

Anyways... just wanted to add all that. I don't have it all that bad! I've got Rob and Lucy and that is all that matters! ;)

K-tell said...

That is REALLY funny! For the first month or so that we had Lilly home, I would wake up every night holding her in my arms crying because I couldn't breastfeed her. My husband would wake up and find me crying, cradling an invisible baby who was sound asleep in her bed. How awful! I had major guilt over not being able to breastfeed and I guess I couldn't shake it, even in my sleep. So I understand that feeling of thinking you have her right there in your arms and feeling REAL emotions even though it's all a dream!

Bridget said...

You are doing a great job. Being a mother is hard in it's own, but then put on top everything else like working and taking care of a home. I will tell you I am exhausted at the end of the day, but every time I look at my beautiful baby it is so worth it. I also wish I could be a SAHM, but right now it is just not possible(my work also has great benefits and my husband's suck). Hopefully by the time our second comes around it might be possible.

LegalLovers(Liz) said...

Hang in there Bev, it sounds super tough but I'm sure you and your family will get through it. You are being Superwoman and Supermom simultaneously!

I love reading your blog, but understand it is hard to post with all the stuff you are juggling. Good luck with everything. Lucy is SO CUTE!

GSilv said...

Bev,

I've been reading your blog since you started and I feel like I know you. Don't let anonymous make you feel like a bad mother because she has the luxury (yes luxury) of staying home with her child. You didn't have your precious Lucy just to hand her off to some stranger all day. She is with her grandmother developing a relationship that will help affect her for the rest of her life. I've never met any of you and I can tell that she is a lucky girl to have such wonderful parents.

-G

Erin said...

Just wanted to give a big shout out to all the WORKING moms out there. I am a working mom, I have 2 little ones, 15 months apart, I work full time, I take them to an in home day care, they love it, I spend every moment of my time outside of work devoted to them and to making my house work. It's not easy, but it can be done. How clever to see that the 1st comment was left ANONYMOUSLY, can I just say how WRONG that is? If you have something to say, why not show who you are and not hide behind an anonymous comment?

Anyway, Mama, you are doing a GREAT job, don't worry, it does get easier, she will sleep through the night, time management becomes easier and you will spend more and more time with Lucy! She is ADORABLE, and you are obviously a great mother, she's happy, she's healthy and she gets to spend all day with Grandma....who could ask for anything more!

I have been told that I shouldn't work, I should live in a box on the side of the road in order to stay at home with my children, I have been told I am related to Hitler because I used the cry it out method when my son was a year old, I quit breastfeeding when he was 4 months old because my body sucks and didn't produce enough for my 9 lb 9oz son to eat, the second one was in the NICU for 5 days and by the time I was even able to see him, since he was at a different hosp. he wouldn't breast feed....Oh the list goes on and on, it's nice to live in a glass house though isn't it "Anonymous"? So I think I am up for the worst mother of the year award....As I said...don't worry, it gets easier! =)

Leigh said...

Nice anonymous and I am sure your house is perfect and dinner is on the table at 6pm every night.
I stayed at home for 7 years with my children and still thought I was holding them in the middle of the night. I would find things in the cabinet that were supposed to be in the refrigerator...not so much with the second one....BUT maybe if you stay home you wont get sick or hallucinate...lol.

Carlie is right...mine did not sleep at all at first and then figured it out.

I found your blog through a friend's blog and think you are doing a GREAT job...and it all sounds pretty normal to me...enjoy it, even the all nighters, mine are now 9 & 7 and I actually miss (a little)getting up with them.

S said...

Bev...I always love your stories and this one was really great! I needed a laugh! I must confess taht sometimes I forget where I put my baby when I'm not asleep or really tired!!! I work from home on some days and when I get on the phone I tend to pace. Sometimes I drop the baby in her bed for a rest or in the saucer or pack and play. Last week after finishing a work conversation, I walked into the LR and asked my 4 year old where the baby was located!! She looked at me with such horror that it scared me for a minute. I then remembered I had stuck her in her bed to play for a minute!!

You are doing a wonderful job for Lucy!! I agree with Sarah, I needed to go back to work!!! I stayed home with my first dd until she was almost a year and was almost excited to return to work part-time as a Realtor. My job offers flexibility for my girls which I adore!! Also, the extra money really helps my bank account LOL!!! It allows us to do fun things with our girls during family time!

Keep on keeping on and loving baby Lucy...she's a cutie!

Dancing Phalanges said...

Hi there! I love reading your blog! Thanks for letting out a few tips on how you make it all happen. I too am a working mother (Anonymous sure is a jerk - the anonymous ones usually are), and it sure can be a struggle at times, though it is all worth it at the end of the day. You've also encouraged me to start looking into how I can be a "greener" mother.

Keep up the great work!

CheekyMonkey said...

Um, my kid is 19 months old and that is STILL my life. Just wait till she starts running around on her own, add "Chase baby around in the morning while getting her diaper bag ready trying not to break out in a sweat from running in heels" to your daily schedule. :) It's AMAZING. And I wouldn't change a thing!

Anonymous said...

That first anonymous needs a reality check. Not everyone lives in an area or works in a field that affords them the luxury of staying home with a child. And not everyone needs that - You said yourself, your mom is like an extra set of hands! if she can't bear to leave her kids all day, then that is what works for her. Some of US cannot imagine only being home with kids and not having an adult life - but no one so far judged her SAH status. It's sad that some people can only see things from their own point of view and they don't understand that everyone has a different financial status and also a different outlook on parenting. (also, she's an idiot.)

somer said...

At least once a week I wake up in the middle of the night in a startled state, wondering where my daughter is. She is almost 11 months old and has never slept in our bed, yet I wake up convinced that I put her to bed with us and have lost her. I have actually gotten out of bed thinking she was in the living room sleeping on the couch with the dog before. I am attributing this to lack of sleep because I refuse to admit that I'm losing my mind!!! :)

Deb said...

New to your blog, but I had to comment as our daughters are so close in age (mine was born 1/5) and I am also a working mom. It's harder than I ever expected. I am often worn out and my blog has also suffered the consequences. I am very lucky that my daughter has been sleeping through the night for over a month now, but she often wakes at 5 or 6 am, which is fine during the week, but this also includes weekends.

I also had an incident early on when my daughter would sleep on my hubby's chest. One night I reached over to touch her hand and couldn't find it. I woke up and started groping around trying to find her. I managed to wake up my husband with my frantic pawing, apparently on his face...I was not so kindly told, she was in her crib.

Jamie @ Baldwin Bungalow said...

I hope you're feeling better soon! You should call in to work and get some rest. I know it's not easy but you'll recover quicker and feel much better...and hopefully stop hallucinating! :)

Jean is having a little luncheon for me in August that I'd love for you to come to if you're able. I'm going to give her your address so you should get an invitation closer to time.

Meg said...

You poor thing! I am dying to see that baby and you and have half a mind to drive up there and "help" out (and by "help" I do mean steal your baby) for a few days. But I do know that you really don't want LESS time with Lucy. You just have so much going on. I hope Lucy feels better soon.
I know it is annoying when mom's share obvious parenting advice, especially like me, who only has one kid, but here I go. Here are my teething tips that are Lily tested and approved:

Breast milk ice cubes (the mini ones) in those little net grabber things. . .what are they called. . .just went to find one. . .munchkin makes it, it has a net on the top they can gnaw on and a handle. When they get older you can put everything (I do mean everything) in there and they won't choke. Invented by a stay at home dad, very very cool.

When she gets a bit older: frozen blueberries. The organic ones are best, not only because of their lack of nasty pesticides but also because they are quite smaller and basically can be gummed to death. As long as she is old enough to have blue berries (Lily was 7 mo, but I didn't start any solids unitl 6) they will be fine. No teeth needed and the cold is oh so nice. Also, get your camera, your baby will never been this happy and messy.

Skip the orajel, I know no baby who will tolerate it. I even was given some Melaluca tea tree oil that someone said to put on their gums but that stuff is terrible, too.

Good luck! Feel better.

Meg said...

Oh and poo on "anonymous". It is great for her that her stars have aligned in her magical fantasy island life but not all of us can survive on one income. Don't listen to her Bev, not only are you providing the best life you can for your family, but you are providing your sweet mother time with your Lucy without you. That is important because if you are there she is going to want you, the mama. But, if you are not there, she can bond with her grandmother in a way that would not be possible, otherwise.
You are amazing.

phylly3 said...

I was a working mother too, and I can remember feeling so torn from time to time, especially when the children were sick or unusually needy. But I chose to work because I did not want my husband to shoulder the entire financial burden of raising our family. Luckily we worked as a team in everything that involved our family, child care, house work, yard work and financial responsibilities during great, average and hard times. It was love that motivated our decisions and no apologies were ever necessary.

Anonymous said...

As a stay at home Mom of soon to be 3 (in about 2 months) I have to comment. First I think it's sad when things like this turn into "Mommy Wars." Aren't we all mothers? Second to the person who commented on raising a family on one income in a large city (just outside NYC) - we live in Los Angeles County and are doing it on one income. We have made CHOICES so this is possible. Like living in a condo(2 parks within walking distance) instead of a house, not going on expensive vacations, doing my own housework, homeschooling our children till 1st grade to avoid expensive private preschool costs and many other things. I do think it's possible to be a stay at home Mom if you choose to. Maybe your husbands income can't cut it? Maybe you need to move to a less expensive home or take a good look at where you're $ is going. We did that and found we were spending $500 a month on eating out as a example. For working Moms you do have added costs such as day care (if you don't have family to babysit), dry cleaning, gas, lunches out and not to mention the stress of having to go to work then come home and still do your work at home plus give your children a bit of attention. We waited 7 years to have our first child so I could stay home full time with no $ worries. It was so worth the wait because I see friends who are stretched so thin trying to "do it all." Let's face it you can't do it all and do it well. My house is not perfect but we do have dinner ready when my hubby comes home and the kids pitch in to clean up the family room before he gets home. I'm also able to get all marketing, laundry and errands done during the day so evenings/weekends are family time not catch up time. I know there are Moms who really have no other way to support their children but the rest of you...is it really that you HAVE TO work or lifestyle choices that are preventing you from staying home? There are so many ways to get outside stimulation...book club, cooking clubs, volunteer leagues to name a few.
Eileen Roberts
Stay at home Mom in Southern CA.

MAK-now said...

I thought I was the only one who did that sort of thing! I laugh in my sleep all the time & then I wake up to find hubby staring at me. hee hee!

Robert and Carmen said...

That is too funny! Hope you feel better soon. I've been reading a while, but never posted. My DD was born 1/5/09.
Carmen

Anonymous said...

When my little one was still waking up at night, and especially when he was sleeping in the cradle in our room, I would wake up all the time thinking that I had fallen asleep breastfeeding him and that he was somewhere in bed. Now he sleeps through, but the other night I must have dreamt that I was changing his diaper, because (while sleeping) I reached under my bed, grabbed the basket with wipes and diapers that I keep under there, and put it on the bed. My husband woke me up and was like "Honey, what are you doing?" Oops!!

Love your blog, Bev, and don't let stupid people's comments get you down. I would love to stay home, but it's not in the cards for my husband and I, and that's ok. Just because you're a working mom doesn't mean you love Lucy any less!

Anonymous said...

Eileen Roberts, maybe some people also LIKE working and LIKE the area they live in so it's a fair compromise.

If you want to turn it into a mommy war, START YOUR OWN BLOG.Sorry, Bev, i am just so sick of these people judging because they only know one way of life.

Anonymous said...

Wow, sounds like some people are insecure with the fact they work outside the home. I thought my post was honest but very respectful.
Eileen

Bev said...

This is getting to be a hot topic. Instead of replying I'm going to have to post a seperate blog entry about this. I will reiterate this one thing: no matter how much I want to stay home with Lucy it cannot happen for us right now. End of story. Wanting something doesn't necesarily make it magically happen, no matter how much we scrimp/save/go without/etc.

Anonymous said...

Actually, Eileen, I don't have children and I look forward to having them and being a working parent. But again you make a judgement. Take care!

Shelly said...

Your schedule sounds just like mine. It is exhausting but it also feels like an amazing accomplishment to be able to pull off both worlds. We cloth diaper too and sometimes I just wish I didn't have to come home to the laundry. Remember that everything you are doing is for your family. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Eileen,

Your comment comes off as judgmental, not respectful.

Queenie. . . said...

I think that any time someone assumes that THEIR way is the one and only "right" way, it comes off as judgmental and intolerant. Personally, I'm pregnant and have no intention of staying home after we have the baby. I love my career, and I've worked very hard to get where I am. I enjoy what I do, and that fact is not mutually exclusive with having a family, as far asI'm concerned. I went to daycare as a child, and don't think I am any the worse for it. In fact, I think there are important social aspects to daycare. And incidentally, my husband may spend some time staying home with the baby. There always seems to be a lot of discussion about SAH MOTHERS versus working mothers, but I never see anu discussions about dads making the "sacrifice.". I happen to make more money and have better benefits than my husband, so even if I wasn't so in love with my career, it still wouldn't make sense for me to stay home.

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