Friday, May 11, 2012

Are you Mom enough?...

Image Credit Time Magazine - 2012

So the internets are all a’buzzing about the picture from Time Magazine for a variety of reasons. 

OMG she’s breastfeeding a school age child! Disgusting! Outrageous! Scandal! Pervert! 

She’s going to scar that boy for life on the cover of a major news magazine like that! Child abuse! 

This is basically pornography showing a uncovered BREAST like that! ::clutching pearls:: 

Me, I don’t give a flying fig about the picture. You breastfeed your infant, cool. You breastfeed your toddler, cool. You breastfeed your school-age child, cool. Your decision. I don’t care. I don’t care if you advertise it by way of sitting next to me on a park bench or on a national magazine.

I’m not going to be the only blogger to write about this, but… what I don’t like? The title...

“Are YOU Mom Enough?” 

Yes. 

Whether we decide to breastfeed or formula feed. Work from home or stay at home. Cloth diaper or use disposables. Shop at Whole Foods and eat organic or from the bargain bulk bins at Winco. Home-school or send them off to the bus stop. Whether you read Dr. Sears, Dr. Green or Dr. Ferber. Co-sleep or cry it out. Whether you birthed that baby in a hospital with a sheet between you and a doctor who was slicing you open like a watermelon or whether you had them at home, au natural, in a plastic tub. 

YES. 

And when you feel the doubt creeping in. When the moms in your play group, your friends on Facebook, advertising, TV shows, news articles, Pinterest, BLOGGERS, all make you feel like you’re not enough?

YOU ARE. 

What? You don’t’ craft and make elaborate dinners? Throw incredible themed first birthday parties? You don’t have your own organic garden? You aren’t making homemade baby food? You didn’t encapsulate your placenta? You don’t have a savings account for your child? A college fund? You’re not going on an incredible family vacation every year? You don’t save 80% of your grocery bills with an incredible coupon cutting strategy? Your home doesn’t look like the pages of Pinterest or Pottery Barn? 

THAT IS OK. 

Know one thing. The litmus test for the million dollar question, “Are YOU mom enough?”

Do you LOVE your child? Completely, unconditionally and in a way that is so all-encompassing that every decision you make for your child(ren), your family, is based on that love. 

If the answer is, yes, then yes, you ARE mom enough.

“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” 
-Donna Ball, At Home on Ladybug Farm


26 comments:

Cassie said...

I love this, Beverley. This is perfect. Mommy Wars are so silly and I wish Time wouldn't exploit them. An incredible, TRUE post!

Jen said...

Well said!

BTW, welcome back to blogging! I've been enjoying your posts again.

Isha said...

I could not possibly agree more. Thank you for a fabulous post!

the d'angelo family said...

Totally delurking to say thank you. Thank you for your post. It's EXACTLY what I've wanted to say and due to my blog being horribly over due for a post, haven't.

I battle with feeling that I am a horrible mother because I was UNABLE to breastfeed my child due to medical circumstances. I do cloth diaper, but honestly, I sadly don't do it to save the environment, I do it to save my wallet. Bottom line is who is TIME to say I'm any less a mother because of the choices I make vs. the choices made by the women in their article.

Kristen said...

Nicely said.

Mandy said...

LOVE this post! So perfectly put.

Mandy said...

Love this post! So perfectly put!

Andrea said...

I couldn't have said it better myself. This was clearly a publicity stunt by Time Magazine, and a horrible one at that because instead of providing a neutral, informative, journalistic approach to the issue, it was a dig at moms who can't or choose not to breastfeed coupled with a tantalizing image that doesn't at all depict how extended breastfeeding occurs in real life.

Stephanie said...

Beautifully written. I agree with you, it's the title of the cover that bothers me not the picture. We put enough pressure on ourselves and this cover adds fuel to an already heated breastfeeding vs formula debate.

Stephanie said...

Excellent post. The Time Magazine cover is meant to sell magazines of course, but I really hate that title - "Are You Mom Enough?"

Anyway, your post is perfect heading into Mother's Day weekend. And I've enjoyed reading your posts now that you're back. My how time flies.

I'd be interested to hear how two children has changed you, if it has at all? I have an almost 3 year old girl and an 8 week old girl, and so far, it's been pretty smooth sailing. But you're one year in...so maybe you have more of a perspective.

ck2m said...

Oh my gosh I needed to hear that. I think I will star this post and reread it when I am needing a pick me up. Thank you

AP said...

Exactly ;)

Katie said...

Fantastic post. THANK YOU.

Nicole @ The Kavanaugh Report said...

Exactly! You stole the words right out of my mouth.

Leanne@lifehappenswhen said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Carter (The Mean Mom Chronicles) said...

This is great....thank you. There is so much out there to make us feel inadequate as moms, but it's nice to remember that loving our children is enough.
I haven't read the time article, but still want to do so. I'm hoping the cover was just for shock-value, but that the article's content will make the point that you've just made.

sassyshell said...

I love your posts! Thank you for writing again! :) So helpful and encouraging to read! Thank you!

Solar Powered said...

Made me want to get up and cheer!!! Great Post!

Solar Powered said...

Made me want to get up and cheer!! Great post!

Solar Powered said...

Made me want to get up and cheer!!! Great Post!

Queenie. . . said...

I totally agree!

Anonymous said...

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Beth Anne said...

A-effing-men.

I am so thrilled to see you back :) I have missed you!

Rock A Bye Baby Gifts said...

Quite simply - Perfectly put and eloquently so.. Can't really add much more than keep it up...

Chrissy said...

Great post! :)

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