We've been married for three years now. The last year and a half we've been attempting, unsuccessfully, to get me knocked up. Don't get me wrong, the trying part has been fun, it is the subsequent "two week wait" after you think that this time you've really done it, you are sure of it, that really gets you. Unfortunately for me I've been through 17 of those torturous two week waits so far which I can tell you is not fun.
I'm currently in baby limbo, living my life in one week increments. A week of "Damn, it didn't happen this time" followed by a week of "Let's-get-it-on-raise-up-your-butt-only-have-sex-every-other-day" and ending with two weeks of make believe pregnancy symptoms, which turn me into a crazed, symptom googling maniac, and back to start again. I feel like I'm in a real life game of SORRY! where I keep on getting the "Return to Start" card.
At this point I have bravely overcome my paralyzing fear of doctors and have made an appointment for August 13th, to get this party started and get some answers. It will be expensive since being self-employed I have no infertility coverage for diagnosis or treatment but hopefully worth it in the end. Knowing what is going on will be the first step. Wish me luck ...
"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next."