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I also didn't even talk to Rob about timing this month. TTC brings a whole new meaning to talking dirty."The stick I peed on said today is the day, come on over!" or "Hey honey I have egg white cervical mucus" His appropriate response to the latter is "You have WHAT...WHERE?" It just sucks the romance right out of the situation and really makes sex becomes more of a chore, something you *must* do as opposed to something you want to do. So I didn't say anything and simply used my feminine wiles on him, he had no idea we were..er.. banging for babies, to put it delicately.
Now here I am, definitely past my O day and now comes the waiting. I wish that I was busy right now because it would take my mind off of this. I think that is one of my problems lately, my business is so slow, my garden is dying back for the season, my house is always clean, since business is slow I have no money for shopping or going out with the girls... there is nothing for me to do so I obsess. If I could just go out shopping that would remedy everything, ha! I promise, I wouldn't even look at the baby section!
Rob and I went to the Pumpkin Patch this weekend, and it was a little tough. Same as last year it was teeming with children and babies and all that jazz. Just made me think back to last year when I thought we'd definitely be bringing a baby to the patch this year, (although the sitting in three hours of traffic afterwards made me grateful we didn't have a baby in the car). I had that same thought this time, "Maybe this time next year we'll be bringing Baby M to the patch"... although that it immediately followed by "What if this time next year we aren't pregnant and have no baby. That will be almost three years of TTC by then." Now that is a overwhelming thought, I just had to push it out of my mind because it is too difficult to comprehend.
Who knows where we'll be next year at this time. Maybe we'll have had Baby M... maybe we'll be pregnant... maybe we won't... Who knows. I guess time will tell.
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."
-Mother Teresa
3 comments:
I hope this is your month! It's much more fun to conceive a child out of spontaneous luvin' than chore...but at this point I am sure you will take either! Good luck!
I have to also add, I hope this is your month. Your writing is not only enjoyable, it is inspirational. I just started hopping on the TTC bandwagon and am seeing how easily it is to become overwhelmed in that two-week-wait. Kudos to you for being able to relax!
I just wanted you to know that I absolutely love your posts...I have your webpage saved to my favorites! I myself am having trouble TTC, even though the Dr. says everything is normal with me and my husband. I am in my 10th month TTC, and I am getting very upset about it. My husbands sperm has been tested and is fine, and my periods come like clockwork and I get positive OPK test results for ovulation every month on the dot. I went in this month asking if I could get some clomid bc I am tired of waiting, and my Dr. said she wants me to wait untill a full year has passed before giving me anything. And she doesn't really want to give me Clomid anyway bc I am already ovulating! It's a really frustrating process especially since everyone arround me is geting pregnant. Except me. I love that someone esle out there is going through it too...You are in my prayers!! Keep posting, it helps other people like me make it through!!
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