Thursday, December 6, 2007

Really Random Thankfulness...

So after my mini breakdown last week on here something I saw on T.V. today slapped me in the face and told me to stop feeling sorry for myself. It is so funny that these kind of things can come from the most random places, right? For me it came from an episode of "Run's House" on MTV. Don't laugh! This isn't a show I watch much, but I am a junkie for any kind of reality television so I happened to watch the episode.

So, last season they aired the show where Run's wife, Justine, lost her baby... a little girl that was born stillborn. On this particular show Justine was watching her sister's little girl who probably was around the same age as her own daughter would have been if she had lived. This woman didn't show a ounce of feeling sorry for herself, she could have wallowed in it, any maybe she did when the cameras were off but I like to think she didn't. I hope to handle my own situation with that much grace. So even though I do have my moments where I whine and bitch and feel sorry, hey I'm human and I'm not going to pretend I'm perfect on this blog, I am still thankful that I haven't experienced loss like so many girls I chat with or loss so far along like this woman did. I'm pulling myself up by my bootstraps and even though my spotting showed up on 10 dpo yesterday I'm still not going to feel sorry about it.

Anyways, really random thankfulness but for some reason this show really opened my eyes up a little, or maybe brought me down from my high horse named Self-Pity. I'm letting old Self-Pity out to pasture for awhile. I'm not going to guarantee I won't be sad when AF shows next week, but I'm not going to wallow because after thinking about her situation I just don't feel like I have that right.

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
-Oprah Winfrey

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know nothing about Clomid and such - but I hope spotting at 10 dpo is an improvement from spotting at 6 dpo. I am wishing you all the best!

zilla said...

Bev, I'll take your feelings and carry the burden of feeling badly for you. you definitely deserve to get a break from this roller coaster. just throw that burden on my shoulder for this cycle! i wish you all the best.

zilla said...

I found this blog - this woman had, oh 50 cycles of dreaded 2ww, and is on to kid #6. i thought you might enjoy!

http://www.fertilitystories.com/fertilityblog/

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