What the...

Grrr. My cycle is really starting to annoy me. This last cycle was my last cycle on Clomid. I've been on it for four cycles and if you take it for too long it can thin the lining of your uterus too much so there is a limit of how many months it can be taken. Well, I started AF this morning. 5 days early. It is so strange this is how my cycles on Clomid have gone: Cycle #1. Spotting still came at 11 dpo and AF came at CD 30. Just like my off Cloimd cycles. Cycle #2. No spotting, AF came really at CD 25 (I also had a lovely hemorrhagic cyst this cycle, lucky!). Month off due to cyst. Cycle #3. Same as #1, spotting back, AF at CD 30. Cycle #4. Same as #2 no spotting and early AF at CD 25. What the hell?

I'm so frustrated. I kind of felt like this was my last chance before I start the really invasive procedures, first up being the HSG or hystosalpinogram. Fun to say? Yes. Fun to go through? Definitely not! Anything that involves a liquid forcefully shot up your vagina is never a good thing. I've heard horror stories about this procedure and I'm terrified.

I'm also frustrated because I feel like I should be happy there is no spotting this cycle, but I'm not. I'm just confused because AF came so early. I just don't get what is going on. I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor on Monday, which I was going to do anyways because I just realized I am so late for my annual appointment. It is so funny but I totally forgot to schedule my annual/PAP because I've been at my OB/GYN's office at least once a month since August! So I figure I'll get in to do that and explain to her what I found out about the pattern I have seen in my last four Clomid cycles. I'm sure she'll want to schedule the HSG and although I'm really not looking forward to it I'm glad that I waited to have it done until now because now I don't have to pay for it since my new health insurance has kicked in!

Although I really love my OB/GYN I'm so excited that this new job allows me to be able to get a referral to an RE. My doctor would be referred me at any time but last year we just didn't have the money with my insurance covering none of IF diagnosis or treatment and me not bringing in any money with the real estate slump. So I feel like we were just treading water but this year we're going to make some progress, even if it means a truckload of new tests for both of us. I'll tell you now Rob is going to be less than thrilled to do another SA, but he won't complain since it isn't like anything is getting shot up his genitals. I'm not going to lie, if he complains I will remind him of that. Maybe we'll get good news, maybe we'll get bad news. I'm ready for both, I just want to know something...anything!

UPDATE:

:: sigh :: What I thought was AF today was actually just the start of the stupid spotting again... right on time at 11 dpo. So there it is. It doesn't really matter, AF or no AF the spotting says the same thing. No baby.

On the up side I've decided to pursue acupuncture this month since I've read that it helps stop the spotting for some and YAY my fabulous new insurance covers it 100%.

"To hope means to be ready at every moment for that which is not yet born, and yet not become desperate if there is no birth in our lifetime."

- Emily Dickenson