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I was checking out at the store the other day, it was particularly busy that day and there was a long line behind me. I walk up to the girl behind the register and this is how our conversation goes (loudly, in public, with many people within earshot):
Cashier: "Hello!"
Me: "Hi. How are you"
C: "Very well thank you-- Oh LOOK at you! I just noticed that are pregnant!"
Me: "Yes, I am!"
C: "You know what? I had a water birth. How do you feel about water birth?"
Me: "Er, well, I'm not really considering it."
C: "You should. Really. It is wonderful. I didn't need any drugs or anything. Women should never need any drugs, they've been doing this for ages. Are you having drugs? You're not, are you?" ::disapproving look::
Me: "Er...um... I'm not quite sure yet." (please note that at this point I'm feeling super awkward because A.) She's speaking REALLY loudly and B.) I only have one item, which was rang up about 5 minutes ago.)
C: "Do you have music set up? I played music really loudly, not like Enya or any of that crap, I totally rocked out to ACDC and burned incense. I don't think anyone else at the waterbirth center liked it but I thought it was wonderful. You should do that."
Me: I don't say anything because A. I hate incense and B. I'm just desperately trying to escape at this point as the people in line behind me are getting antsy and staring...a lot.
C:"You know what I found to be really helpful?"
Me: Thinking to myself "No, but I bet you're going to tell me!"
C: "When I was at the end of my third trimester and really wanted to go into labor I stimulated my nipples." I swear her voice rose about three decimals at that point and EVERYONE in line behind me heard, "I just rubbed them really good, and had my husband rub them. Like this..." And then, in line, with about 7 people behind me she demonstrated, just for me, how she stimulated her nipples, "Yep, I went into labor 2 hours later. I just did this." Continues to make circular rubbing motion around nipples," My husband enjoyed it too. Not to hard, but not to soft. Works like a charm!"
Me: Staring at her in absolute dismay with my face tomato red, "Um...er...uh...thanks. I...um...have to go now..."
Why?!?!
"Everything grows rounder and wider and weirder, and I sit here in the middle of it all and wonder who in the world you will turn out to be."
-Carrie Fisher
41 comments:
WOW! ....that's pretty much all I can say to that!!! :)
Can we say TMI!?
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh no she di-ent! That is CA-RAZY! Man!
AWKWARD!!! What a crazy nut. Next time something like that happens, try taking yourself back to m/s and throw up on her shoes. That'll get you out of there fast!
What a WACKO!
That was so funny I read it aloud to David. He laughed, too :)
Holy inappropriateness Batman! That's an overshare if I ever heard one.
That's hysterical! I bet everyone in line after you as fast as they could in hopes she wouldn't share anything else!
That is hilariously awkward. I have no idea what I would have said in that situation. Kudos to you for not pointing it out to her.
Stephanie
This happens to me all.the.time now. My favorite is when older men tell me stories about how dilated their wives/daughters/daughter-in-laws were. Awesome.
HaHa... I have been experiencing the same thing... I can't believe what some people say, especially people I have never met!!
Lol! Maybe she forgot how annoying it can be when strangers divulge way too much info to pregnant ladies.
Maybe she's just carrying on some great tradition of making pregnant ladies extremely uncomfortable.
Who knows?
I haven't had any encounters like that, but I'm almost looking forward to it, just to see what will happen.
Oh I am laughing. People don't know when to STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've had really uncomfortable moments with people lecturing about medication-free birth, breastfeeding, etc. in uncomfortable times but NOTHING that bad.
Oh no! That is so too much!
HILARIOUS.
oh my
Wow, that's awful! I didn't get many comments from strangers, but I only had a few months that it was noticable really, with winter coats and all. I never got a stranger belly rub either. Lots of people at work gave me advice though!
OH MY GOSH! NO! Tell me this isn't really what happened!?!? I told you that I had some weird people talk to me too, but NEVER NEVER like that! Only you Beaver...Only you! :)
I was just going to suggest nipple stimulation. But the cashier beat me to it. Darn.
(please tell me that you can sense my sarcasm!)
The part about her stimulating her nipples was absolutely hilarious!!!! Okay, tell us the truth, were you in a sex shop??? LOL. Just joking. Man, I hope nothing like that happens to me.
OMG!!!! I cannot even imagine! That is CRAZY!
that's hilarious! something like this happened to me a few weeks ago. i posted it on my blog and linked back to your's. hope you don't mind. :)
Wow! That is insane...I would have just left the item and came back later to get it.
*smacks forehead about 3 times while reading this post*!!! Like that airplane commercial, "Wanna get away?!?!?" Ah the things we endure when we are prego!
Oh my! I would have simply agreed with anything she said just to get her to finish the transaction and shut up!
WOW!!!! that is waaaay too crazy for me! i'm surprised you didn't run away! so awkward!
glad you made it out of there! :0)
OMG!!!......that's all I CAN say.......LOL
Oh wow! I don't know how I stumbled upon your blog but thanks for the good laugh today! I cant imagine what you could have been thinking while she was saying all that!
Hello!
My name is Julie and I'm totally obsessed with your blog. I love it. My cousin/best friend went through a lot of fertility issues (she actually lives in Beaverton too...odd) so I can relate a little better with you just seeing what she's gone through.
I'm actually writing to tell you that I have a blog called www.LeelouBlogs.blogspot.com. I also make free blog layouts and headers and stuff. If you're at all interested I'd love to customize your blog. No that your blog isn't super cute, I just am an avid reader and fan, so I thought I would offer the only service I'm good for.
I've written you once before, but I know you get tons of comments and I wasn't sure if you got it. If you did, maybe you're avoiding this crazy stalker like the plague, and that's ok too. If you're interested at all just let me know and I'd love to help with anything. If I don't hear from you I'll take it as a sign and leave you alone :)
Good luck with everything!
Thanks!
Julie
Hysterical!!! Just LOVED the nipple demonstration!!!
...the only thing that could have made that any more inappropriate would have been if she reached over the counter, and started stimulating YOUR nipples! (and by her lack of tact, I am surprised she didn't!)
AAAACK!
OMG I am so sorry for you having to deal with that. But, I must say, I just literally laughed out loud! People are amazing...just wait, it gets worse as you get closer to the end :(
wow. that's all I have to say!
OMG!! That is just crazy!!
I have no idea why she felt a nipple demo was required but I bet it made for a great story for all the people in line behind you.
P.S. I love your blog & welcome to mommy - hood!
Since you are going to be a mom & alot of moms read this blog I thought to pass this info along about Carter's brand baby clothes causing chemical burns.
I first read about on
www.zreccomneds.com
and this womwan stared a blog about her child's
http://avastaglesshorrorwithcarters.blogspot.com/
truly horrible. my own daughter didn't suffer from an burns but nonetheless, due to the way this situaton was handle I will be boycotting carter's brand clothes in the future.
Pass on the info! if we don't protect our kids who will?
hahahahaah. that's hilarious. a story to tell your little one (when it's appropriate).
I started reading your blog a couple of months ago and loved it. We have been trying for a year and a half and it was so nice to read about someone who was going through so much of what we were and who came out on the other side! From the HSG to our first IUI, reading your blog has been so helpful in making things less scary. And, today, after IUI #2, we found out I am pregnant!! First beta was over 200! Best wishes to you during the rest of your pregnancy (post more!!).
Andrea
No! No! Just tell us you just made up that story for our entertainment, right?!?
F'ing Hilarious!! I love it. =)
UPDATES! BELLIE PICS! GD UPDATE! THANKS, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
Ok, so besides the fact that that women was totally inappropriate and awkward. I had a waterbirth in Tualatin (www.waterbirth.net) at Andaluz waterbirth center. Truly it was amazing, and I absolutely loved it. Portland is one of the few areas that really does have an amazing birth center. Count your lucky stars! My hubby and I live in Colorado, and it was only by luck that I ended up being at my parents house for a few months. My birth ended up being less expensive than my co-pay, and I was 100 times more comfortable. Good luck! And, I am happy that after two years you got your baby!
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