Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Guest Post: Let Me Just Go Grab My Checkbook...

Boy, do I have a treat for you ladies (and gentlemen?) today! The lovely and completely hilarious Jen from Maybe If You Just Relax is a guestie today. I'm sure you all are as thrilled as I am. If you have no idea who this is, man, have I got a new blogger for you!

I've been a longtime fan of this lady, in fact, I think she was one of the first blogs ever that I started following on my Google Reader (pretty much the most wonderful invention to follow blogs) and to this day I get all giddy when I see she's posted a new post -- and then I laugh loudly and inappropriately at pretty much everything she says.

Enjoy!
....

"Let me just go grab my checkbook..."
That was my response to Jillian Michaels a few weeks ago.  When I first started the 30 Day Shred.  "You don't get abs like these for free, people!"  She yells, as she helps someone do crunches.  Someone with abs that would probably break your face if you looked at them wrong.
Yeah, well, at that point, I was ready to pay someone to shred my abs while I soaked in a nice bubble bath.  Preferably, someone good looking, muscular, who loves my jokes and wants to feed me chocolates instead of encouraging me to work out.
I want to hate Jillian Michaels, just on principal.  Workout videos are obnoxious.  I hate when people try to motivate me, it just annoys me.  I also hate when people with perfect bodies try to tell me how easy it is to jump around for thirty minutes.  And I can't watch The Biggest Loser because all of the grunting and crying makes me want to claw out my own eyes, or just change the channel to something more respectable.  Like Jersey Shore.
So many valid reasons why I should hate Jillian.  But the truth is that I have a strange girl crush on her.  I've been doing The Shred three days a week for almost a month, and I must say...that bitch means business.  There is a whole side-lunge thing combined with an arm exercise that has me  all sweaty and groaning like something dirty is happening in my living room.  
Yes, I groan and grunt like a 400 pound Biggest Loser contestant.  It is about as attractive as it sounds.
BUT, I have lost about 5 pounds.  And the workout that once made me leak profanities from the blackest part of my soul?  Is not so hard.  I still have more rolls than a bakery, but I can notice a difference underneath the dough.  And I've been able to work in three days a week of running on the treadmill along with Jillian.  I'm like two workouts away from being able to give my husband a piggy back ride to the Taco Bell drive through.
Why am I hogging up Beverley's blog to tell you this?  Well, because I am a slutty whore.  That's why.  Because I'm a slutty whore, and I'm ready to change it up and cheat on Jillian.  And I'd like your help, because you are smart and pretty and your ass looks fantastic in those pants.
What workouts do you love?  What workout gurus do you love to hate?  Do you make naughty noises while you workout? 
 
"A pretty woman is a welcome guest."
-Lord Byron







25 comments:

MoochieMCH2 said...

Jillian has 2 other workout videos: No More Trouble Zones & Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism

I'm still working on the 30-day Shred myself, but I've looked into the other two videos for after I progress.

Congrats on the success so far!

Jennifer said...

Yay!! I LOVE Jen & check in with her blog daily :-)

Jillian Michaels scares me. I've never done the Shred, but I've seen her "motivate" people on the Biggest Loser and I just don't think I can handle her workout! I'll stick to walking on my treadmill while reading a book ;-)

Kelly Marie said...

I definitely want to try Jillian's work out BUT I also heard Carmen Electra's strip tease is a fun workout, even though I'm sure I'd look like a fool!!

Jenn said...

Slim in Six... it kicks my butt! But, for the first time in about four years, I put on a pair of size 4 jeans this weekend.

Rachel said...

still a jillian video but it's called no more trouble zones. If you thought the shred was hard, wait till you do this! it is intense and amazing!! I love love love this video! It is shedding my love handles right off!

Janae said...

WOW! This is crazy!! I don't think I've ever been the first to comment on any blog let alone your blog Bev!!! Awesomeness!

I LOOOOVE IT! This post is hilarious and totally how I feel about Jillian too! I love to hate her! I hate to love her! She makes me want to scream and I can't stand her yet, her 30 Day Shred is the only workout DVD I can do and actually feel good and like I'm making changes with my body!

I've been a follower of Jen's for quite some time and I also love to read up!

Thank you ladies for making me smile and giggle on those days I needed a laugh!!!

Kristin said...

Love it! Jillian is evil, as are the women of The Firm. But they get results and get me cursing. The Firm videos are great for mixing workouts up - you can really focus on whatever you want your target area to be that day, or do a more overall workout. I like the workouts on the Marni Winsor Pilates' videos, but Marni annoys me.

elizabeth said...

P90X. for. reals.

Crossed Fingers said...

Jillian scares me - I have her Shred DVD I used pre-wedding and have since fallen off the bandwagon. I am now a bigger fan of yoga but I know Jillian is still the best bet out there for a quick cardio burst. Darn her...

Chris and Annalisa said...

The Firm's Jiggle Free Buns.

Best vid evah!

Emily said...

Sorry, but you should stay a prude. Jillian Michaels is the best workout since Cindy Crawford Shape Your Body ala 1992. I did the shred for 30 days (not straight) and then got her other two videos. All three are awesome. Banish Fat Boost Metabolism (without weights) is actually harder than the one with weights. Oh and, on the one with weights, I did it with 5 pound weights the first time because that's what she uses in the Shred and SURPRISE, she's using 3 pound weights, which she doesn't say until like the 3rd or 4th circuit. Big, huge difference.
The girl next to me at work did all three religiously with the amount of cardio you are doing and ended up 19 pounds lighter than she was when she got pregnant with her first kid after like 3 months. Sure, her diet was pretty good, but not like fat free dressing and carrots good, like 1800-2000 calories per day good.

uncomplicateme said...

I'm only 2 workouts in, but I started a boot camp class at a local gym here and holy SHEET I LOVE it. I mean I can barely walk my legs hurt so bad (and that's from Monday!) but it's a good kind of hurt and the second session was definitely easier than the first. I don't know if you have one in your area, but I think it's definitely worth looking into!

Molly said...

My husband and I have been doing P90X. Insane. But we are loving it and after the end of week 2, totally see improvements!! It's really made for dummies, which allows me to comprehend everything. Includes workouts and meal plans. It's quite a commitment and pretty time-consuming, but we're gonna stick with it for the 90 days and re-evaluate then. Good luck!!

celene said...

I really like Cardio Max a biggest loser dvd. Bob's 20 mins are killer! Also The Crunch Burn and Firm Pilates its pretty great.

Stephanie said...

I love this because I just started my 30 day shred and man, I could barely walk the day after... so I'm excited to see if I can get this flabby post-partum belly into shape.

Sorry, Jen, no advice on how you can cheat on Jillian...

nic88 said...

Awesome post! I was also doing The Shred when my husband started doing the Insanity workouts so I joined him. I hate every second of it, but...an awesome sweaty workout! I would recommend it!

Nicole

AmandaG said...

I love to hear people's results from the 30 Day Shred. I have the DVD at home and have done it once (meh). It gets me motivated to go and do it, though I never do. This makes no sense. I have been doing this Tracy Anderson workout from YouTube and it kicks my butt! Funny post!

LaurenKauf said...

I LOATHE Gilad from FitTV. He annoys she shit out of me. Also, the avatar trainer from My Fitness trainer for Wii also annoys me to the point of selling that damn disc for 5 bucks just to get it out of my house. When I'm at the gym, I have the tendency to whimper like a puppy who's back leg was roller over by an office chair when I've reached the end of my work out. Not very attractive.

depstein38 said...

If you want to try something non-Jillian but still want to stay with the same letter of the alphabet, try Jazzercise Dancing Abs. I promise there won't be a leg warmer in sight and you'll work harder than you realize!

Carrie said...

30 Day Shred is ridiculously more difficult than I thought it would be. And I totally heard Jillian in my head when I read, "You don't get abs like these for free, people!"

I found some workouts with Jackie Warner from the Bravo show "Work Out" on my Fitness on Demand channel. She's not quite as tough as Jillian but it's a good workout and I still like her.

Drazil said...

Oh so true - love Jillian and love her abs....but I'll take Bob any day too. Would love you to follow my blog too!

kimbosue said...

The Shred is on my 101 things to do in the next 1001 days....I am hoping to get started soon. And when I say started, I mean purchase the DVD.

Carrie said...

I don't do workout videos, but I was looking at some of Jillian's the other day thinking maybe I'd give them a try...

However, I do do (hee hee, doo doo) Zumba and I LOVE it. I looked like a fool the first (couple) times, but I stuck with it because it's a fun workout. I actually had someone ask me the other day after class if I was a cheerleader in high school so apparently my very-white-girl-rhythm is getting noticeably better!

(My word verification is "chestie." Who comes up with these things?"

Mandy and Jack said...

Yes, I refuse to Shred while anyone is in the house, including my husband, because I am a big wuss who pants and groans when Jillian is kicking my butt. Also, the only thing that gets me through the workout is me looking forward to when Jillian says "She's kicking herself in the ass quite literally." And then I laugh. Because I am 12.

JenJen said...

Ha! Awesome guest blog! Jillian is hard core. She makes me want to roundhouse kick my TV.

I work out with Denise Austin. She works out with women of various body types, so I don't feel as bad when I crunch and my rolls turn into lard pie.

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