The job is going well and even though I had a day of panic where it really hit me that I actually had to be in this office from 7:30 to 4:30 everyday and that I was answering someone other than myself. I was no longer choosing my schedule and vacationing whenever we wanted to... although the lack of business = lack of money= no vacation anyways! I truly thought to myself, "What am I doing here?". That very day I got a bill in the mail from my ultrasound... $400. On my statement it also noted how much I had spent at my doctor's office in the past year. $2000, out of pocket. That is not counting the money I used to pay every month to my insurance company. It was right then I thought, count your blessing because this job and its awesome benefits is going to enable us to get this party started, infertility-wise. Whooo hooo!
Christmas season is my favorite time of year. Even with AF showing up and having the second "no baby" Christmas it has still been such a wonderful Christmas season. I'm not going to lie, we had so many photo cards from my friends and family who have had a baby this year. A picture of a fat baby in a Santa hat or my friend Emily's new adopted son Luca sitting in the middle of their Christmas lights breaks my heart a little bit every time we get one of those cards in the mail, but I suppose that is normal. It hasn't put that much of a damper on Christmas because I really haven't allowed myself to get down during the season. Now after Christmas is a whole different story! I hate it when Christmas ends and I despise January. I hope that work is really busy so I don't get the January Blues in all this dreary Oregon weather.
I'm hoping next time this year there might be another stocking hanging on the fireplace and toys under the tree. Last year I was sure it would have happened by now, this year I'm not so sure but I know eventually it will happen and we will be parents.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone who reads my blog. I hope you all have a wonderful season full of friends, family and holiday cheer!
"Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,our troubles will be out of sight."