Sunday, January 20, 2008

Pins and Needles...

Sorry for the lack in blogging, my life has been insane lately. Specifically my job has just been crazy. I'll be working well over 70 hours this week. All I want to do at night is come home and go to bed. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a means to an end, this job. It isn't that I don't like it. I love the people. The girls I work we are really sweet and fun and I know that if they weren't there I would be so tempted to turn tail and run away. I'm just not cut out for the corporate world. I feel trapped, tied to my desk. Stuck in a file room with no windows. Answering to people other than myself. I miss the freedom of being self employed, I truly do. I hate the fact that we can't go on a trip on a whim, or I can't take a day off whenever I like. Then I get my paycheck, which frankly wouldn't be coming with real estate, and I see these benefits that I'm getting an how we're able to go forward in our IF treatment and I know that it is worth it, for now. It isn't forever.

On another note, I started acupuncture this week. Although I'm going to be switching acupuncturists to one that is closer and one that is a little more in line with my doctor's treatment program, I think that it is going to be a really positive addition to our fertility treatment. The pins did not hurt at all and the relaxation afterwards was so nice I almost fell asleep on the table! The acupuncturist gave me some tips about my eating habits, apparently consume entirely too much dairy and she asked me to cut it out completely! Eek! I drink 2-3 glasses of milk a day and eat cheese like it is going out of style. I'm really going to miss it. Sad. Although I'm just not going to be able to cut out the tiny bit of milk I have in my tea every morning. My mother is British and I've basically been raised on black tea with milk and sugar since I've been a baby. I'm convinced that it was in my bottle as an infant! I've cut it down to one cup a day but I just cannot cut out that tiny bit of milk.

I had a doctor's appointment, my annual, the day after my acupuncture and my doctor was thrilled that I was looking into acupuncture. She is really into taking both western and naturopathic avenues to treat infertility. Since I'm looking for someone closer she gave me a recommendation for a naturopath that she works with herself and also a nutritionist who can help me with meal planning for the new diets that my naturopath recommends. It is really overwhelming when a person says that "you can't have this, this or this" but doesn't give you any suggestions of what you can make with what you can have! So I'm really looking forward to working with this nutritionist. As my doctor told me, "this isn't about you being *just* a womb. It is about you getting completely healthy while trying to get pregnant."

My doctor also gave me my referral for my HSG. I'm terrified, but glad that it may give us some answers or at least narrow down the possibilities of what is going on! I'll probably be having it in 2-3 weeks. I'm making my appointment on Monday. EEK! My doctor did say that if she was going to get it done, she would go to this doctor. She is the best in the state. So hopefully that will make a difference. I really feel like we're on our way where we have been stagnant for the past year. The HSG, then possibily a LAP or a referral to a RE. It is very exciting to going forward with this!

Also, something funny about my annual appointment. My doctor often works with med students who come in the room with her. So when the nurse asked if I minded, I said "no". After going to the doctor as much as I have in the past year I'm no longer shy and usually they just stand in the corner anyways. This girl came in by herself first, she was so obviously new at this. She asked me some questions about myself and how long we had been trying and after I told her how long she said, "You know, I hear all the time about how people just decide to take a break and they get pregnant or they are going to adopt and they get pregnant!" Hmmm. Thanks for that insight. She was a sweet girl but obviously hadn't worked with any infertility patients or she would know not to say that sort of thing. At that point my doctor came in and discussed my HSG and my acupuncture for awhile, then it was time for my pap. My doctor continued talking to me and I realized that the student was going to do the exam. Poor thing had no idea what she was doing and was digging around in there with the speculum like a dog looking for its bone. If it wasn't so uncomfortable I would have laughed. My doctor quickly realized that she was having problems and helped her out, but poor thing was totally unpracticed at this. I think next time I'll tell the nurse that the students can come in but I'd prefer that my doctor do the actual exam parts! Ha!

I might be MIA for the next couple of weeks. We have some big things going on at work that will make me a walking zombie until it is all over. Unless something exciting happens TTC wise I probably won't be writing until I'm through with all this craziness!

"Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow."
-Alice M. Swaim


enail5 said...

Good luck on all your upcoming tests. I'm glad you're doing acupuncture too. It made such a relaxing difference in my life.

I think I had the same student as you, and she told me that she had just finished her two weeks in orthopedics. She was very nice but was totally clueless about where things go.

Anonymous said...

Wow...I think about you everyday, and I'm hoping you get some answers soon. Hang in there with your job; it sounds like you're keeping a positive attitude about your hectic schedule. Have a good next few weeks!

casicola said...

I love that your going to an Acupuncturist. I loved going to mine, but I cant afford it right thats on hold. But you will love it more and more everyday. In my opinion you dont need to cut out all dairy. I'm no Dr. but there are many other studies ( that show it is healthy to have dairy and can even assist in fertility....sooooo too each his own:) I dont drink milk that much but I dooo love me some ice cream.heehee

Also, I had the HSG done a few months back...and it didn't hurt like the horrer stories I heard. I did take the ib profen but I was even able to drive home. It is uncomfortable but for me it wasnt painful.

Good luck with the job and all the crazy hours...but yay for the IF coverage!

The Leonard's said...

I stumbled upon your blog after reading some comments on the nest. I thoroughly enjoy reading about your journey through IF as I just recently began TTC. Just wanted to show my support. GL and keep Blogging :)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bev said...

Dear Anonymous-who-wrote-the-non-published-comment,

I really appreciate you telling me that. I did suspect that particular person was the one writing the nasty messages. I find it very ironic myself as well.

Thank you. It took all my willpower to be the better person not to post it so everyone would know that she didn't have the balls to come out and say it under her nest name. What a coward.

Hope all is well with you, whoever you are! ;)

Bev aka Bunnies

ck2m said...

Good luck with the HSG and work. I have a friend who had been trying for 2 1/2 years. They saw the specialist, had the HSG and did Clomid but still nothing. She just called last week to say they are 5wks pregnant. I think good things are in your and DH's future. This is your year.
As for the naturalpath I had a health issue and gave up on western meds. Since going the natural route I haven't had any issues. Best of luck

Brooke said...

Good luck and I am going to miss reading your blogs while you are busy and sequestered at work. BOOOOOO.....

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