I felt so bad because it was still going strong for Rob's birthday yesterday, so bad that I felt sick and shaky. We had plans to go to dinner and I was absolutely miserable during dinner. I tried so hard, but could barely keep my eyes open from my headache, I had to squint even until the dim restaurant lights and my hands kept shaking. Amazingly it seemed to stop at about 10:00 last night but left me cranky and exhausted after almost 36 hours of migraine. So I feel terrible about his birthday, I really do and the only thing I got really cranky to him about was that we argued about cutting the cord on the way home from the restaurant. Apparently he's "not sure" if he wants to do it, and me in my weak, shaky and cranky state just got really snippy with him.
Me: "Why don't you want to?"
Rob: "I just don't know if I want to"
Me: "Well, when do you think you might decide this?"
Rob: "I dunno. Couldn't you maybe do it?"
Me: "Are you SERIOUS? I'm going to be squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon and probably will be a.) a little tired b.) a little in pain and c.) in the middle of getting my vagina reconstructed, so I think I don't think I'll be able to."
Yes, I was a bitch. I apologized later, as did he. He really didn't expect me to do it, but I think he is a little nervous at the thought at doing it himself so I'm just going to let that go. He doesn't have to and who knows what will happen on that day. As long as he's there with me, that is all that matters. So anyways, other than my mini-bitchy time, he did have a good birthday in that he got some really nice olive oil from Baby M (he is a trained chef so that sort of thing is exciting on a birthday) and two pairs of swimming shorts from me (one for wrestling, one for swimming this summer). Dinner was delicious as well, so all in all it was a good day for him.
Ok, on to the good stuff. The NT scan on Tuesday morning went really well. We were running totally late, I cannot believe I got from Hillsboro to Portland in 15 minutes at 8:00 in the morning. Unheard of! I wasn't even speeding! It was actually a really fun ultrasound, my first one that wasn't with my friend "the wand". When we got into the room and the nurse put the jelly on me stomach Rob got all excited and said, "this is a belly one? Oh good!" I had to laugh at him because the nurse looked at him really funny. We saw Baby M on the television above the bed for probably a good 30 minutes. No nub sighting, even though Rob kept exclaiming "Look at how much HE'S moving." "Look at HIS head, it is huge!" and so on. The doctor came in and said that everything on the ultrasound end looked totally normal. I just now have to wait for the blood test results. Speaking of the blood test the nurse dug around in my veins for a good FIVE MINUTES until she could get my vein, OUCH!
So today I am OFF WORK. It is my first day off since we found out we were pregnant. Let me tell you it feels so incredible. My job has been really stressful lately, and quite frankly I'm been pretty miserable. I feel like I have no time to think about my pregnancy, no time to plan things, no time to do anything. I'm always cranky and stressed and the job is just getting to me lately (sorry Jen and Marlo if you're reading this, I still love you girls). Here I sit today, blogging from my bed in pajamas at 9:00 am. I love it. I love that I have nothing to worry about today. It feels amazing. I wish I could leave work at work, but it just hasn't happened lately. I've even started logging on to work when I get home just to get things done.
To tell the truth, I really miss the freedom of real estate. I could get up leisurely most days, my house was always clean, I was outside all the time running around from house to office, I had the freedom of taking a day when I needed it and sleeping in if I worked late the night before. I miss it. I really do. I am so thankful for this job since if I was still in real estate I would be making no money whatsoever, and for the benefits it provides, but it has been tough lately and I'm not quite sure how to fix that. It seems like no matter how overloaded employees are at this company, there's always room for more, more projects, more goals, more, more, more. No one ever says no either, it is just the company culture.
I'm having a hard time with it right now. I have to stay at this job, but I can't help but thing how differently I'd be feeling during my pregnancy if I was still working for myself. Although then I have to think, would I even be pregnant? Probably not! I supposed I'd rather be working here and pregnant than still be infertile so that positive outweighs the negatives right now. ::sigh:: I guess I just had to get that off my chest.
I haven't taken my 14 week picture yet, I'm going to have Rob start taking them for me tonight, I think it is time to be rid of the awkward angles of my self-portraits! So I'll be posting that latest picture tonight along with Baby M's latest photo shoot.
Now, I'm off to have some tea outside on the patio. Then I'm going to do some leisurely shopping at Nordstrom Rack, Barnes and Noble and Gap Maternity. After that I'm going to come home and take a nap. Seriously, does that not sound like the best plan for a day EVER? Don't be jealous!
“The best cure for an off day is a day off”