Thursday, July 3, 2008

Ahhhhh...

So here I am, two days late on my promised blogging. Why? Because my weekly migraine hit, at about 2:00 on Tuesday. It is so strange, it is always comes on while I'm at work and always at around 2:00. It held on strong until last night. It just kills me. It makes it impossible for me to concentrate at work, cranky when I get home, and awake all night long.

I felt so bad because it was still going strong for Rob's birthday yesterday, so bad that I felt sick and shaky. We had plans to go to dinner and I was absolutely miserable during dinner. I tried so hard, but could barely keep my eyes open from my headache, I had to squint even until the dim restaurant lights and my hands kept shaking. Amazingly it seemed to stop at about 10:00 last night but left me cranky and exhausted after almost 36 hours of migraine. So I feel terrible about his birthday, I really do and the only thing I got really cranky to him about was that we argued about cutting the cord on the way home from the restaurant. Apparently he's "not sure" if he wants to do it, and me in my weak, shaky and cranky state just got really snippy with him.

Me: "Why don't you want to?"

Rob: "I just don't know if I want to"

Me: "Well, when do you think you might decide this?"

Rob: "I dunno. Couldn't you maybe do it?"

Me: "Are you SERIOUS? I'm going to be squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon and probably will be a.) a little tired b.) a little in pain and c.) in the middle of getting my vagina reconstructed, so I think I don't think I'll be able to."

Yes, I was a bitch. I apologized later, as did he. He really didn't expect me to do it, but I think he is a little nervous at the thought at doing it himself so I'm just going to let that go. He doesn't have to and who knows what will happen on that day. As long as he's there with me, that is all that matters. So anyways, other than my mini-bitchy time, he did have a good birthday in that he got some really nice olive oil from Baby M (he is a trained chef so that sort of thing is exciting on a birthday) and two pairs of swimming shorts from me (one for wrestling, one for swimming this summer). Dinner was delicious as well, so all in all it was a good day for him.

Ok, on to the good stuff. The NT scan on Tuesday morning went really well. We were running totally late, I cannot believe I got from Hillsboro to Portland in 15 minutes at 8:00 in the morning. Unheard of! I wasn't even speeding! It was actually a really fun ultrasound, my first one that wasn't with my friend "the wand". When we got into the room and the nurse put the jelly on me stomach Rob got all excited and said, "this is a belly one? Oh good!" I had to laugh at him because the nurse looked at him really funny. We saw Baby M on the television above the bed for probably a good 30 minutes. No nub sighting, even though Rob kept exclaiming "Look at how much HE'S moving." "Look at HIS head, it is huge!" and so on. The doctor came in and said that everything on the ultrasound end looked totally normal. I just now have to wait for the blood test results. Speaking of the blood test the nurse dug around in my veins for a good FIVE MINUTES until she could get my vein, OUCH!

So today I am OFF WORK. It is my first day off since we found out we were pregnant. Let me tell you it feels so incredible. My job has been really stressful lately, and quite frankly I'm been pretty miserable. I feel like I have no time to think about my pregnancy, no time to plan things, no time to do anything. I'm always cranky and stressed and the job is just getting to me lately (sorry Jen and Marlo if you're reading this, I still love you girls). Here I sit today, blogging from my bed in pajamas at 9:00 am. I love it. I love that I have nothing to worry about today. It feels amazing. I wish I could leave work at work, but it just hasn't happened lately. I've even started logging on to work when I get home just to get things done.

To tell the truth, I really miss the freedom of real estate. I could get up leisurely most days, my house was always clean, I was outside all the time running around from house to office, I had the freedom of taking a day when I needed it and sleeping in if I worked late the night before. I miss it. I really do. I am so thankful for this job since if I was still in real estate I would be making no money whatsoever, and for the benefits it provides, but it has been tough lately and I'm not quite sure how to fix that. It seems like no matter how overloaded employees are at this company, there's always room for more, more projects, more goals, more, more, more. No one ever says no either, it is just the company culture.

I'm having a hard time with it right now. I have to stay at this job, but I can't help but thing how differently I'd be feeling during my pregnancy if I was still working for myself. Although then I have to think, would I even be pregnant? Probably not! I supposed I'd rather be working here and pregnant than still be infertile so that positive outweighs the negatives right now. ::sigh:: I guess I just had to get that off my chest.

I haven't taken my 14 week picture yet, I'm going to have Rob start taking them for me tonight, I think it is time to be rid of the awkward angles of my self-portraits! So I'll be posting that latest picture tonight along with Baby M's latest photo shoot.

Now, I'm off to have some tea outside on the patio. Then I'm going to do some leisurely shopping at Nordstrom Rack, Barnes and Noble and Gap Maternity. After that I'm going to come home and take a nap. Seriously, does that not sound like the best plan for a day EVER? Don't be jealous!

“The best cure for an off day is a day off”
-Frank Tyger


17 comments:

liina said...

Cutting the cord really isn't anything special in my view, so don't make him decide right now... if he wants to when it's time to do it, then it's fine. My son's cord had to be cut by the doctor before he was completely out because it was wrapped twice around his neck, so my husband never got a chance, but I hadn't even asked him to do it anyway...

CG said...

Gr8 news abt the scan and sounds like u have the perfect plan for the day. Enjoy it and have fun.

Anonymous said...

I have been following your blog from the nest & have enjoyed watching your journey. I just wanted to say that my husband didn't cut the cord for either of our girls. The thought just freaked him out. All was well, it never bothered me & in relaying that news, I've found out that a LOT of dads don't do it (even though you'll get some horrible, neglectful father looks from some people...) Best of luck to you!

go4hockeychick said...

I get horrible migraines too. They lasted until about 2/3 of the way through 2nd tri before they got better.

I highly recommend talking to your OB about seeing a chiropractor or acupuncturist (if you haven't already). I never did end up doing acupuncture, but the chiro helped SOO much!!! (although there are some migraines I had to break down and take the vicodin my MW prescribed since I can't take my regular ones...)

Bev said...

I know, I know. Cutting ths cord ISN'T a big deal. But in my migraine-induced state of crankieness, it seemed a bigger deal at the time. But I KNOW it isn't.

Really it is just the principle of it all. My point of view: after over a year of invasive treatments and drugs, 3 months of morning sickness and heartburn, now the migraines and the fact that childbirth is not exactly the most comfortable thing ever, all things I more than gladly will put up with for Baby M, Rob cutting the cord seems like peanuts in comparison. Like, come on buddy, all you have to do is put up with my mood swings, though he is a SAINT in that way. When I'm a bitch, I am a BITCH! LOL!

All in all, I'm not going to force him, or talk to him about it anymore. I was just.plain.CRANKY!

HA! :)

ck2m said...

Excited I got to put I know you in real life. Glad that Robs birthday went well. I can't wait to see the new belly picture. I am jealous you are at home. I am reading this at work (violin please). I have two friends pregnant with stressful jobs and they are having early contractions. It might be worth talking to your boss early about your wishes for your schedule pre and post baby now. Enjoy the sunshine beautiful pregnant Bev.

Shanny said...

Awww,how adorable that Rob kept referring to the baby as "He"... And I'm glad the "exterior" scan went well.
I hope that work gets better for you. At least you can look at the positive side of it and appreciate it... You are pregnant! I say: ignore a couple of minutes of work a day and go to "la la land" to baby dream... =)

roshybride said...

DH said he wouldn't cut the cord and was adament about it. When DS was actually born and the midwife asked him to cut the cord he was really excited to do it. So you never know what will happen. I understand the principle part of it!

Lauren said...

On the cutting the cord subject, my husband couldn't do it. He's extremely squeamish and being in a hospital setting only made it worse. My mother was in the delivery room and I believe she was the one to cut the cord (I don't remember much about the end of my delivery).

I guess at the end of the day it doesn't really matter who cuts it in my opinion. But if it's something he decides that he's comfortable with, then by all means do it!

Fiddle1 said...

Okay, now I am kind of freaking out. Not only are we due on the same day, but my husband's birthday is on July 2 also! Glad the ultrasound went well. I don't know why I didn't have an NT scan..my doc hasn't even mentioned it. Hmmm.

Anonymous said...

I am jealous!!!... The headaches could be from the lack of caffeine. I know that when I go for days without drinking coffee I get these horrible headaches that I can’t even open my eyes. The phone ringing at work sounds like 20 times louder than what it is. I drink coke instead but it doesn’t help, but as soon as I have a nice cup of cappuccino, Boom! Gone like a miracle. You should bring it up to the Doc next time you go for the check in since you can’t think coffee.

Jen said...

We've already had the cord talk, too. DH isn't going to do it. I don't care because if we're being honest? I wouldn't want to do it either! haha!

I'm glad your appointment went well!

Brooke said...

My hubby also did not want to cut the cord, and I was rather bothered by it. I saw it as a big, symbolic thing of sorts, and was upset he didn't have any desire to do it. I'd like to now blame the hormones on my extreme moodiness about the whole situation :) He did end up cutting the cord, but I feel he did it out of utter fear what might happen to him if he didn't after I squeezed a watermelon out! Next time around, I really won't mind (honestly) if he doesn't want to do it!

Anonymous said...

You really should do it! I have a few friends who did it themselves and that is so special to them!

jlcumber said...

You are so sweet. I feel ya and wish you could be a stay at home mom!!!!!!

Marcy said...

My husband wound up cutting the cord, but mostly b/c my midwife offered it and he figured it was expected and didn't want to turn it down and be seen as a bad dad already, But he didn't see any special significance to it. It's kinda more something they tell dads they can do since they can't do a whole lot else in the rest of the process.

Emily said...

You are beautiful! Glad things are going well!

As far as the cord... we had that argument, too. And then Ryan said he would cut it... well as it worked out, ,the dr did it and didn't even ask Ryan. No big deal at all. He didn't even care! So don't let that get you down... I look back and giggle at that silly argument.

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